Past, Present and Future
by siewlee
Summary: Koenma has a mission for the Urameshi team, but things doesn't quite turn out to be alright. While waiting in Keiko's ramen shop, Koenma meets someone from his past, someone that he thought he would never see again... (shounen-ai in future chapters)
1. The Past: Chapter 1

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The Past, The Present And The Future  
  
The Past - Memories  
  
Chapter 1 - Memories, Vengeance And Dreams  
  
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"Yusuke! Yusuke!" yelled a frantic voice, just seconds after a   
  
loud crashing sound was heard throughout nearly the whole apartment   
  
in the middle of the city. The digital clock on the bedside table   
  
showed the time as 7.00 am.   
  
The girl glared irritably at a boy sleeping on the bed soundly   
  
and tried calling a few more times, her voice getting louder and   
  
louder each time she shouted.   
  
"Get up, Yusuke!" she said angrily, her blue ponytail shaking   
  
in anger. She tried slapping him a few times, but quickly removed her   
  
hand from the drooling face. She then took the body by the shoulders   
  
and began shaking it violently, attempting to wake the boy up.   
  
That pig, why doesn't he wake up? grumbled the girl,   
  
determined not to let go until she got his attention. Right to the   
  
moment, the boy was still sleeping soundly.   
  
Yusuke was just opening a sleepy eye when someone shook him   
  
with the force of an earthquake. Yusuke opened his brown eyes in   
  
shock to see a pair of pink eyes staring at him urgently. Oh no...   
  
muttered Yusuke in heart and sat up groggily on his bed.   
  
"Huh, Botan? What are you doing here so early in..." Before   
  
Yusuke could finish the sentence, Botan interrupted him impatiently.   
  
Botan seemed very anxious and panicky. Rivulets of sweat ran down her   
  
forehead and she was panting heavily.   
  
"Urgent stuff, Yusuke. Koenma has a very important message for   
  
you." As she said that, she threw Yusuke a briefcase bearing the   
  
character 'Rei' on a corner. Yusuke threw Botan a dirty look because   
  
this wasn't exactly the perfect idea of waking up. Now he knew that   
  
Botan could shake people like a rag doll.  
  
With quick and deft fingers, he opened the briefcase and looked   
  
at a blank screen. "Reikai investigators don't have holidays as   
  
school gives us. I don't deserve to be treated like this, I'm still a  
  
human more or less. This had better be important or I'll never   
  
forgive you for this... You know my days off are very important to   
  
me," Yusuke grumbled loudly and glared daggers at Botan.   
  
After a few minutes of static, still no picture.   
  
"Hey! What is all this crap? How come there's no picture?" said   
  
Yusuke, hammering the briefcase with his fist.   
  
"Hands away!" warned Botan, already standing straight with her   
  
oar in her hands.   
  
"Watch it!" Yusuke had just managed to get his hand away before   
  
Botan slammed the top with the flat part of her oar. "That's   
  
dangerous!" growled Yusuke and looked at his fingers.   
  
"That damned box needs to be treated like this sometimes,"   
  
explained Botan, after knocking it. She kept her oar away with a wave   
  
of her hand and sat down on the floor.   
  
The screen began to spit and splutter. Koenma appeared after 10   
  
seconds of static, chewing intently on his blue pacifier, or better   
  
known as the Fuumaken. He was still dressed in his typical Koenma   
  
manner, with a pair of kungfu style pants and a bib. Over his small   
  
head drooped a huge floppy hat that was larger than his body. George,   
  
the blue oni was standing stiffly beside Koenma, as any other   
  
faithful and obedient servant might do. Koenma's desk was also in a   
  
mess with mountains and mountains of papers everywhere. Koenma   
  
himself also looked rather untidy with his hair sticking out one   
  
side.   
  
"Yusuke, I have a very important mission for you now. This   
  
mission is more difficult than 'Mission Impossible'. Let me remind   
  
you once more, be careful and ..." As Koenma said that, Yusuke let   
  
out a sleepy yawn, showing his disinterest for Koenma's usual   
  
introduction.   
  
"Koenma, cut the crap and let's get straight to the point,   
  
okay?" said Yusuke at Koenma tiredly, and he received a rough nudge   
  
in the ribs from Botan, reminding him not to be rude to Koenma.   
  
Yusuke shrugged off Botan easily and leaned back on one elbow.   
  
"Okay, if that's what you want. The Reikai is very proud of you   
  
because you have finally destroyed Sensui. Now, Reikai is once again   
  
peaceful. A few days ago, we sensed a very strange and powerful   
  
energy field somewhere near the borders of Makai and Ningenkai."  
  
"So what am I supposed to do?" interrupted Yusuke impatiently.  
  
"Yusuke, let me explain it all first!" yelled an exasperated   
  
Koenma.   
  
"Whoa, calm down. Getting angry is very bad for you," said   
  
George, patting Koenma on the back. Koenma relaxed and calmed down.  
  
"This energy isn't Reiki or Youki, but a totally different   
  
power. Don't disparage it, it is every bit as powerful as Reiki or   
  
Youki. Reikai has never experienced such power and it might pose   
  
great danger to all three worlds. I'm afraid that this power could be   
  
three times more powerful than Raizen, maybe even more. Because this   
  
threatens the well being of all of us, I'll go through this mission  
  
personally with your Reikai special investigator team. According to   
  
some sources, this group of people may range from 3 to 7, each with a   
  
different ability. Please contact Kurama, Hiei and Kuwabara   
  
immediately as we might need their help," said Koenma.  
  
"Do you have any idea what is happening down there?" asked   
  
Yusuke, beginning to show interest in the assignment.  
  
"Well, Reikai has a special prison in Makai where we kept some   
  
of the most dangerous criminals there. The castle has a reiki or   
  
youki barrier where neither side could use their power against each  
  
other in between this wall. Although it was the Reikai that erected  
  
this system, we can't see what's happening inside. Simple things such   
  
as checking their youki is also impossible, unless we free them. To   
  
tell the truth, I do not have the slightest idea what is happening   
  
inside," confessed Koenma.  
  
"Anyway, one more question. Where are you going to meet us? You   
  
can't just simply wander around in the streets of Ningenkai like   
  
that," said Yusuke and scratched his chin, narrowing his eyes at   
  
Koenma.  
  
"I'll meet you all at Keiko's ramen shop in two hours' time.   
  
Yusuke, all our hopes lies in you," As Koenma finished his speech,   
  
the picture spluttered and died out, leaving only static behind.   
  
"What? Two hours? How am I going to find all of them,   
  
especially Hiei? That youkai is always disappearing. Now, I don't   
  
even know where he is, in Makai or in Ningenkai..." exclaimed Yusuke   
  
desperately scratching his already tousled hair.  
  
"Well, you have to find him somehow. I'll help you," answered   
  
Botan enthusiastically, sitting down on a cushion on the floor.  
  
"Duh!" came the reply as Yusuke began combing his hair.   
  
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After talking with Yusuke, Koenma stepped down from his   
  
ridiculously huge leather armchair and paced around. Things had been   
  
getting out of hand lately. Enma-Daiou had gone off for a holiday,   
  
again! Leaving his poor son in a midst of paperwork. Problems seemed   
  
to arise one after another. Why did demons from Makai always seem to   
  
find ways out to Ningenkai? Didn't they have anything better to do?  
  
Koenma couldn't stand to think about this question for one more   
  
second so he quickly transformed into his teenage form. As he walked   
  
out of his office, he stopped by the wall mirror to check his hair   
  
and clothes. Of course he didn't want to embarrass himself in front   
  
of the rest...  
  
As he was priming his hair, he suddenly realized how handsome   
  
he looked without his pacifier. In fact, he belonged to the category   
  
of 'bishounen'. That reminded him what Enma had said to him a little   
  
while back. "Koenma, you are not young anymore. Before long, you are   
  
to take my place. But before that, you must find yourself a mate..."  
  
As Koenma recalled his words, his face flushed a shade of pink.   
  
He suddenly felt a stab of pain in his heart and his eyes began to go   
  
mist over... Koenma closed his momentarily and took a deep breath. He   
  
bit back that feeling forcefully. Koenma took a final look at his   
  
outfit and went off in a huff.  
  
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Yusuke pulled his jeans up and put on a clean white t-shirt. He   
  
combed his hair into his usual style and began pacing about in his   
  
room, then stopped and went downstairs. Atsuko was off at her present   
  
husband's house so there was no one in the apartment.  
  
He stopped by the phone and began punching in Kurama's phone   
  
number. A sleepy voice answered the phone. Yusuke recognized it as   
  
the voice of Shuiichi, the human body that Kurama possessed. He told   
  
him that Koenma had a new mission in hand and planned to meet them   
  
all. Kurama's sleepy voice agreed and hung up.   
  
"Kurama as a youko sounds a lot different..." thought Yusuke to   
  
himself as he remembered the more mature voice. Yusuke shook his head   
  
as he remember the scene in that Dark Tournament with Kurama emerging   
  
as a silver youko. It was so amazing... Who would have thought that   
  
Kurama is actually a centuries-old fox?   
  
Yusuke dialed Kuwabara's number. Kuwabara was not as polite as   
  
Kurama was when woken up that early in the morning. A string of bad   
  
words soon followed:-  
  
"Urameshi! What the hell made you call that early! Tell me   
  
which fing asshole and I'll make that asshole eat his own shit!"   
  
cursed a very angry Kuwabara.  
  
"Cool down, baka! Nobody forced me to phone you. The Reikai   
  
special investigation team has a new mission," shouted Yusuke,   
  
holding the phone receiver away from his ears.  
  
"Oh yeah? Tell me what it is. I'm always ready to take up any   
  
challenge," professed Kuwabara eagerly.  
  
Yusuke filled him in on the details, and Kuwabara agreed to see   
  
Koenma with him. Even that stupid fool sounds excited, thought   
  
Yusuke with a smile on his face.  
  
"Now, we only have Hiei to find. That guy is always so weird,   
  
wandering in between Makai and Ningenkai." Yusuke then asked Botan if   
  
she knew any way to contact Hiei. Botan took out her collection of 7   
  
Reikai Investigation special tools and selected a whistle.  
  
Botan stuck the whistle's mouthpiece in between her lips and   
  
took a deep breath.  
  
"Oh no, not that..." As he said that, he jammed his fingers in   
  
his ears. Kurama told him once that one of the seven Reikai   
  
investigation tools was very harmful to youkai ears. Oh great, I'm   
  
half-toushin now and it's all Raizen's fault! Even with his ears   
  
plugged he could still hear the loud blast of the whistle. Then, a   
  
dark shape fell past the window.   
  
Yusuke told Botan that it must be Hiei. Both of them ran out of   
  
the apartment and took the elevator down. They reached the front of   
  
the building and saw Hiei all curled up in a pile of limbs. He   
  
apparently had been sleeping on the rooftop. Hiei quickly collected   
  
himself and dusted the debris off his black clothes. He flipped his   
  
cloak over his shoulders and gritted his teeth irritably.   
  
"Why the hell did you blow that whistle! It hurts, stupid! This   
  
is the second time you did that!" yelled Hiei to Botan who was still   
  
holding the accursed whistle. Hiei was still rubbing his ears and   
  
glaring at the ferry-girl.  
  
"I 'had' to because finding you using other equipment is near   
  
impossible!" shot back Botan. Hiei just looked away in his typical  
  
Hiei-ish behavior, in which he didn't care to say anything further.  
  
"What do you think you can do by just looking away like that?"   
  
continued Botan sarcastically and rolled her eyes.  
  
Hiei snorted but he didn't say anything. Botan glared at him,   
  
but she also didn't say anything.   
  
"Come on, don't argue." shouted Yusuke over the noise as a   
  
heated argument broke out between Hiei and Botan. Botan stuck out her   
  
tongue at Hiei while Hiei threw her a dirty look.  
  
"So, what's the big deal?" asked Hiei, obviously irritated.  
  
"Well, it's about our new mission..." Yusuke began explaining.   
  
By the time Yusuke had finished, they realized that they were late  
  
for Koenma's meeting by around half an hour...  
  
Little did they know that this would lead them to memories,   
  
vengeance and dreams that might not always be there - adventures that   
  
could only happen once in a lifetime.   
  
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Copyright reserved 1998, 1999 W. Siew Lee   
  
All standard YYH disclaimers apply to this fanfic.  
  
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	2. The Past: Chapter 2

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The Past, The Present And The Future  
  
The Past - Memories  
  
Chapter 2 - An Untold Story, A Secret Tale  
  
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It was very quiet.   
  
Too quiet.   
  
There was only one single person in his mind.   
  
Yamaro.   
  
That name was very familiar to him, if not to the extent of   
  
repeating itself like a voice in his head. Yamaro was his destiny,   
  
his life and everything worthy he had in his life. Yamaro was a S-  
  
class demon; a very powerful type, especially with his ability to   
  
manipulate human and youkai minds. He himself had met Yamaro long   
  
time ago, long before his confinement in this dark and miserable   
  
place.   
  
It was so long ago that he could not even remember when, but he   
  
would never forget how well Yamaro had treated him. He gave him love.   
  
Love was the only thing that helped him to survive his imprisonment   
  
here. Yamaro gave him a wonderful feeling called 'love'.   
  
Before this, he was a cold and distant figure. Ever since he   
  
knew such a feeling named 'love' existed in his heart, he was forever   
  
thirsty for more.   
  
An alliance was formed between the two of them. An invincible   
  
alliance. Nobody could get through their defenses without getting   
  
killed.   
  
How did I get confined to this place? asked Murashi silently   
  
to himself. Eons ago, he and Yamaro were two of the most powerful   
  
youkai around. At that time, Raizen, Mukuro and Yomi had not risen to   
  
power yet. Murashi's mouth turned up to form a smirk. They are only   
  
weak warriors. Weak warriors don't deserve to have a try with us.   
  
In every corner of Makai, his and Yamaro's names were sacred.   
  
Feared in every aspect of power, wealth and intellect. He sensed the   
  
fright in souls everywhere he went. Fright and dark emotions were so   
  
good to play with. Murashi laughed out aloud. Those were the days...   
  
Like a dream, all of that were dissolved into the sands of   
  
time.   
  
Ningenkai and Reikai tasted sweet. Sweet as honey. Portals were   
  
opened in every single part of Makai for easy access to the two   
  
worlds, enabling youkais and any other living creatures to get   
  
through. Yamaro had a secret dream. A dream that linked three worlds   
  
together as one, the light, the dark and humanity.   
  
Together, they formed a plan for the ultimate battle between   
  
the light and the dark. Attacks were made on Reikai and Ningenkai. He   
  
could remember how Yamaro used to celebrate victory after victory.   
  
Terror in everybody's faces was like wine in his throat. Why   
  
terror? Murashi had thought many times before. This question had   
  
intrigued him all along. Shouldn't it be fine if there were portals   
  
everywhere? He inhaled sharply and closed him eyes. The sweet scent   
  
of human blood was so tempting and delicious, but he knew that he   
  
wouldn't taste it ever again.   
  
Murashi didn't sense the danger it posed. At least not to him.   
  
Ningens didn't know anything about their plans, only Reikai. Reikai.   
  
That word should never be said in front of Yamaro. It was a banned   
  
word. Taboo in his presence.   
  
Reikai had never been so interrogative about their plans.   
  
Those in Reikai are just a bunch of weaklings, spat out Murashi   
  
and gritted his teeth. His eyes snapped open and narrowed into a   
  
line.   
  
It was one fateful day that Enma-Daiou finally showed his true   
  
powers for them to see. A tear dropped from Murashi's eyes from how   
  
painful defeat was to him. The feeling itself was terrible, like   
  
someone had torn out his heart and ripped it into pieces. Murashi   
  
softly fingered a deep scar on his chest where Enma's Reiki sword had   
  
wounded him seriously. His scars were nothing compared to Yamaro's.   
  
He didn't only suffer physical scars, but also emotional scars. Scars   
  
that were impossible to heal, even after a millennium.  
  
Defeat was bitter. Murashi knew it himself. One could never   
  
feel the humiliation without having been defeated. Defeat was the   
  
contrast of victory. He had turned to Yamaro on the brink of defeat.   
  
It just wasn't fair. They didn't deserved to be defeated just like   
  
that.   
  
He could still remember the nights which they had spent   
  
together in each other's arms and warmth. Yamaro was a handsome man   
  
with a picture prefect body like that of a god. He could also feel   
  
the soft lips kissing him in a way that he felt was heavenly. Again,   
  
he gave him love. Yamaro had turned him from a cold warrior into a   
  
passionate lover.   
  
Luckily I still have him.  
  
A voice came shouting across the hallway, sending him straight   
  
out of his sweet and painful dreams. "Murashi! Lord Yamaro wants to   
  
see you now!" Murashi yelled back a rude answer and slipped into his   
  
clothes quickly.   
  
Slowly and shakily, he stood on his feet and fingered his own   
  
face. He had the delicate skin of a woman and an ivory complexion.   
  
Sometimes, he wished that he was a woman not a man. He turned walked   
  
towards Yamaro's place. The hallway was dark and god knew that what   
  
type of Makai insect lived here.  
  
He stopped in front of a pair of large wooden doors. On the   
  
sides of each door, sat a fierce looking stone lion. Sitting there,   
  
waiting to swallow anyone. Lions of evil and darkness.  
  
Murashi knocked on the door and he heard a smooth voice   
  
beckoning him to go in. Yamaro's voice. Murashi walked in slowly and   
  
saw Yamaro staring at a huge crystal ball.  
  
"What is your command, my dear?" asked Murashi as he looked   
  
around for any presence of a third party. Seeing on one, he walked   
  
over to Yamaro and sat down daintily.  
  
"This time, we'll be able to free ourselves and our men from   
  
the everlasting bond of Justice. We have been locked here for such a   
  
long time and that even the feel of sunlight has long abandoned me.   
  
Now, I can sense the smell of freedom and before long, we will be in   
  
Ningenkai, ruling our kingdom together," answered Yamaro, in an   
  
unusually good mood.  
  
"Really? That will be fine for we have been together through   
  
thick and thin. We have been locked up here for more than a thousand   
  
years and I could use some freedom. But... who is going to free us? I   
  
thought only the one of great Divinity has the power to do so..."   
  
said Murashi teasingly and ran his index finger through Yamaro's   
  
thick mane of hair.  
  
"Yes, it's true. After years and years of searching and   
  
investigating, I have found that person." With a flick of his wrist,   
  
the huge crystal's swirling lights consolidated to form an image. It   
  
showed a picture of a beautiful teenage schoolgirl with a strange   
  
hairdo. She had such delicate feminine features that she was   
  
breathtaking, her ivory complexion was flawless. She was in a   
  
background of a coffee-shop, talking and laughing with her friends.   
  
A human? Why was she a human? One of great Divinity would never   
  
reside in a mere human!   
  
"Does she really have the power to free us? She looks really   
  
young and weak..." said Murashi, expressing his lack of confidence in   
  
the girl as her sweet laughter echoed around them.   
  
"No, she has no real power within herself, but she has some   
  
very important connections with Reikai. I had uncovered this secret   
  
in an attempt to hack into Reikai's internal computer system. It   
  
seems that this girl had a close relationship with the Enma Junior.   
  
Here, I have already downloaded all the files and we must study them   
  
to see ways to blackmail Enma-Daiou into letting us go..."  
  
"Okay, it will be as you wish, we will deal with this girl   
  
later on... For now, let's enjoy out free time first, since we will   
  
be very busy after this." Murashi stretched a finger towards the lamp   
  
and the lights went off.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Koenma was tired of waiting for Yusuke and his friends. Keiko  
  
herself had came to serve him, but he didn't order anything.   
  
Enma-Daiou was pretty strict about his allowance nowadays. "I should   
  
have reported to the child-abuse hot-line about this asking a   
  
teenager to do a lot of work while giving meager salaries," a random   
  
thought from Koenma who was currently dying of boredom. He chewed on   
  
his pacifier more intently than ever and wiped away the sweat which   
  
were forming on his forehead.   
  
The song 'Love Sensation' was blaring out loud in Keiko's shop.   
  
Koenma had gotten tired of hearing it again and again. When he sat   
  
down to think, he had a bad habit of sucking his pacifier. He knew he   
  
looked odd with the pacifier but he couldn't live without it. The   
  
pacifier had practically grown up with him and it did serve a   
  
purpose too. A wry smile lit up his face as he recalled how Yusuke   
  
had asked him how good the pacifier felt in his mouth. The   
  
tanteis... They are such good friends to me...   
  
Of all sudden, he hated this word - love. He hated this word   
  
ever since... Koenma gritted his teeth and forced himself to think of   
  
the situation back in Reikai.   
  
Youki... S-class youkais... Koenma sighed unhappily.   
  
Some girls walked past him and made a comment about his   
  
pacifier. Koenma took out his pacifier and threw them a suave yet   
  
charming smile. The schoolgirls threw him flying kisses and giggled   
  
loudly. Koenma just looked away as a cold bead of sweat ran down his   
  
forehead.   
  
Girls...  
  
Koenma was losing his patience by now. Perhaps he should go   
  
back to Reikai to contact Botan. Time was gold and everything, after   
  
all. When he thought of office documents piling higher and higher   
  
every second, he let out a groan. Maybe he would have to miss his   
  
sleep tonight or even worse, for three days consecutively. He walked   
  
towards the counter to tell Keiko that he was leaving. Suddenly, a   
  
voice caught his ear. It was a female voice, high, lilting and   
  
beautiful. Koenma froze. That sounded familiar. Koenma closed his   
  
eyes for a while, letting that voice float around the air around him.   
  
That voice drove straight into Koenma's head and dug out his   
  
memories... Sweet old memories of his past...   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It had happened a long time ago, deep within the hidden nooks   
  
and crannies of the Imperial Reikai palace. A place where all matters   
  
were executed in the dark, kept a secret from prying eyes and ears.   
  
A place of conspiracies and collaborations.   
  
150 years ago...  
  
In an ancient world, warring countries and feudalism were   
  
common. Chauvinistic behavior was considered a normal action. When a   
  
disagreement occurred, two feuding nations would always launch a war   
  
leaving the people to suffer the most. Two common ones were the state   
  
of Shu and Kin. Both were powerful nations, each determined to gain   
  
control of the entire Asian continent. Other than these two nations,   
  
there were some small states too, victims of bloodshed.   
  
In the midst of this confused state, not all the warlords were   
  
that power crazy. Far across the oceans lying in the far south, there   
  
was once a small country, ruled by a kind and caring warlord. That   
  
was the state of Wei. The warlord was a kind person, he refused to   
  
see his people suffer in silence. He lived there, in the midst of a   
  
magnificent palace, with his most prized possession --- his daughter,   
  
a princess, the lily of the state.  
  
One day, a diplomat sent by the ruler of Shu came to pay a   
  
'small' visit. A visit, yet it was not at all 'small' to the state of   
  
Wei.   
  
The king sat on the throne, waiting for the diplomat. A few   
  
minutes passed, still no sight of the diplomat. He tapped his fingers   
  
on his throne anxiously and glanced up at the opened wooden screen   
  
doors. After a few minutes, a lithely built man walked up the red   
  
carpet, giving a little bow as a meager sign of respect. Soft   
  
footsteps echoed through the long hallway, creating a strong eerie   
  
touch to the silent space. King Wei nodded slightly, acknowledging   
  
the humble respect.  
  
"Your highness, the Shu had pledged harmony between both   
  
countries. Here is the agreement," said the diplomat. His two   
  
followers stood there, with their head bowed.  
  
"Really unconditional?" asked King Wei, after glancing   
  
cursorily through the formal agreement.  
  
"Our lord has something to be advised to your highness   
  
personally. May they be excused?" requested the diplomat politely   
  
and smiled a little.  
  
"Yes," said King Wei, beckoning for the servants beside him to   
  
retire first. He began to feel suspicious. Something was very amiss.   
  
The king merely shoved his suspicions aside, eager to hear what the   
  
diplomat had to say.   
  
The diplomat took a quick glance around for another third   
  
party, also beckoning his followers to leave as well. "Since it's   
  
customary to present a small gift as your sincerity, I suggest that   
  
your highness should think of something that will please my lord,"   
  
whispered the diplomat softly, yet loud enough for the king on the   
  
throne to hear.  
  
"Do you have any ideas?" asked King Wei cautiously, half afraid   
  
to listen on.   
  
"What about a wife for our eldest prince?" suggested the   
  
diplomat.  
  
"A wife for the crown prince," repeated King Wei thoughtfully.  
  
"Yes," said the diplomat, still in that soft tone. "I'm sure   
  
your highness must have some ideas for the choice of bride."  
  
"I'll consider it. Please stay in the imperial guest room and   
  
I'll give you an answer in a week's time," replied King Wei, his   
  
heart already aching slightly. The diplomat meant his daughter,   
  
Misuko-chan...   
  
The diplomat smiled graciously and gave a little bow. Slowly,   
  
he backed off to the entrance, leaving King Wei to ponder by himself.   
  
Psychology wins. The diplomat decided as he walked along the   
  
corridors of the magnificent palace, knowing that the king would make   
  
his choice soon.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Princess Misuko! Princess Misuko!" a servant ran along the   
  
garden path leading to an open pavilion. A girl was sitting there,   
  
sewing a peony on a piece of satin. The girl's eyebrows were knitted   
  
together as she concentrated on her work.  
  
A closer look showed the girl to be apparently in her mid-  
  
teens. She was petite, her frame still considered as small. She had   
  
long arched eyebrows and creamy white skin. Her fair complexion   
  
complemented her lips, her eyes and her facial features.   
  
The female servant rushed into the pavilion, alerting the girl.   
  
The needle she was holding pricked into her index finger. A drop of   
  
blood oozed out and stained the pure white satin, creating a red   
  
blotch there. The girl gasped slightly and looked up at the huffing   
  
and panting person before her.  
  
"Your highness, there's a diplomat here!" said the servant, her   
  
hair flaring wildly in the wind.  
  
"Huh? Diplomat?" asked Misuko, disbelieving the servant. Peace   
  
missions were rare in these days.  
  
"Yes, a diplomat. He and the king are discussing something in   
  
the throne room. He has ordered everybody out, including his personal   
  
servants."  
  
"We'll see," answered Misuko happily, glad that there was at   
  
last a sign of peace, even though it was faint. But she had a strange   
  
feeling. The blood, her own blood staining the white satin frightened   
  
her.   
  
Maybe it was not a good omen.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
King Wei sat glumly in the study. The diplomat's words had   
  
repeated themselves over and over again in his mind. A wife for the   
  
crown prince... A wife for the crown prince...  
  
Is he hinting that I should give dear Misuko-chan to the   
  
barbarians? asked King Wei to himself sadly. Misuko was of marrying   
  
age. What should he do? Give Misuko-chan?  
  
No! Never! King Wei was feeling broken over the two options.   
  
Two important options. Two pictures formed in his mind at once. One   
  
was of his war-ravaged country in years to come. Another was of his   
  
daughter. Undeniably, he couldn't bear to part with his daughter, but   
  
he also couldn't bear to see his people suffer. Unconsciously, a tear   
  
rolled down his left cheek. A daughter lost...   
  
His Queen had been dead for a decade. Every now and then, his   
  
subjects would advise him to take a second queen, but he always   
  
refused. He had remained loyal and always would be.  
  
How am I going to break this news to Misuko-chan? asked the   
  
king miserably. He sat there undecided. He looked backwards and   
  
towards the future.   
  
Dawn arose, a few sparrows chirped cheerfully. The king had   
  
made his decision. Misuko would have to be sacrificed. An owl crooned   
  
sadly against the rising sun. A prediction made, full of tragedy.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Misuko-chan, Misuko-chan. Are you there?" A voice was calling   
  
and knocking softly outside her room.   
  
Misuko stood up and ran to get the door. She peeked outside and   
  
saw her father there.   
  
"Otousama, I haven't seen you for a long time. Why are you   
  
here?" asked Misuko as her father walked into the room and sat down   
  
on a chair. The king just kept quiet. He took a lengthy gaze at his   
  
daughter.  
  
"Otousama, is anything wrong?" asked Misuko.  
  
"I just want to take a good look at you," uttered the king   
  
simply, at a loss for words. His thinking was confused, then. He did   
  
not know how to break the news to his daughter.   
  
It will break her heart, said the king plaintively to   
  
himself.  
  
"What's the matter? You look so unhappy," asked Misuko more   
  
boldly this time.  
  
"Are you willing to do anything for the peace of this country?"   
  
asked the king curiously, eager to know how his daughter would react.  
  
"Yes, of course. I would do anything to see a sign of harmony   
  
in this war-ravaged world," answered Misuko, surprised that her   
  
father would ask something of this sort suddenly.  
  
The king took a deep breath. "I will send you as a bride to the   
  
crown prince of Shu as a symbol of our sincerity to make peace," he   
  
blurted out.  
  
Misuko's eyes widened and she let out a small gasp. "No...   
  
no... not this fast," murmured Misuko to herself.  
  
"I'm afraid so." King Wei looked sadly at her. A tear formed at   
  
the corner of her eye and dropped down to the carpeted floor beneath   
  
her.  
  
"But otousama, I'm only fifteen..." protested Misuko weakly.  
  
"Yes. You are fifteen, but you must know that it is the perfect   
  
age to find a husband for you. That is the common rule of feudalism.   
  
You must understand this point," said King Wei.  
  
"No... that's not fair!" screamed Misuko, her tears flowing   
  
freely now. The very thought of marrying a barbarian scared her. She   
  
would be leaving her beloved father and country forever. No! She must   
  
not go! But... what about those innocent citizens?   
  
"Nothing's fair in this world," trailed the king slowly, trying   
  
to calm his daughter down. Misuko broke down into sobs and wept   
  
openly. The king stood up and looked down at her.   
  
"You must make your own decisions. Nothing's fair," said the   
  
king, walking out of the room leaving Misuko to think it over.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The clock in the belfry struck midnight. A hunched form sat on   
  
the bed, a blanket wrapped around it closely. Thunder rolled across   
  
the dark sky with flashes of lightning. Massive black clouds filled   
  
the sky, reflecting the emotions the hunched figure was suffering.  
  
Misuko pulled the blanket even more closely around her. An   
  
internal debate was going on inside her.   
  
No! You must never marry that barbarian! One side told her,   
  
but Misuko shook her head slowly.   
  
My country, my people. I must never let otousama down. I must   
  
give in, Misuko told herself to accept the reality. She could never   
  
escape from that, at least not without creating chaos. At that   
  
thought, she broke down into more sobs. A thunder crashed and the   
  
rain started pouring down with brute force.  
  
Gradually, the storm passed. Misuko dried her tears and washed   
  
her face. She combed her hair into her maiden style and put on her   
  
favorite blue gown. Melancholy, she reached behind to tie her sash   
  
into a knot. She took one last look at herself in the mirror.   
  
"I'm ready. Ready to serve my people and country," shouted   
  
Misuko aloud. She had already made up her mind. Her fate and destiny   
  
decided.   
  
Then, she walked out of the door quickly.   
  
The room was silent again, as its owner would never return to   
  
it forever.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Otousama, I'm ready," announced Misuko clearly in the main   
  
throne room, kneeling down before her father in front of his   
  
subjects. King Wei's expression changed a little, obviously confused   
  
that she would change her mind that quickly.  
  
"Well, if you are ready, I'll call the diplomat in," said King   
  
Wei, beckoning to one of his servants to call the diplomat in.  
  
Minutes later, a well groomed man walked into the throne room.   
  
He put his hand in front of him and gave a little bow. "Yes, your   
  
highness."  
  
"You can go back and tell your king that I shall present my   
  
daughter, Princess of Tai Ping, as a gift of sincerity," said King   
  
Wei, his voice carrying a tinge of sorrow.   
  
"Thank you, your highness. I'm set to go back to the state of   
  
Shu today anyway. May I accompany the Princess of Tai Ping?" asked   
  
the diplomat, smiling at the poor girl.  
  
"Yes, you may," agreed King Wei, his gaze adverted to Misuko   
  
herself. He noticed that Misuko was trembling slightly.  
  
When the diplomat turned to walk towards the door, Misuko got   
  
up and followed him. She took one last look at the familiar   
  
architecture, her eyes full of emotions. She gave her father and the   
  
building a yearning look. Gently, she mouthed a single word:  
  
Goodbye.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The journey to the capital of Shu was a long one: long, winding   
  
and bumpy roads stretched from city to city. Misuko had never been   
  
out of the state of Wei. Exotic and lush wild shrubs and forests   
  
intrigued her. She had never known that there was such beauty outside   
  
the walls of the palace, her home.  
  
One evening, in an inn midway. Misuko was eating lunch with   
  
the diplomat. The diplomat was a gentleman, he was very kind and   
  
caring towards her. At least it helped that Misuko didn't feel that   
  
bad about leaving home so suddenly.  
  
Strangely enough, the diplomat suddenly spoke.   
  
"Princess, you must be careful when you meet the crown prince."  
  
"Why?" asked Misuko curiously, as the diplomat had rarely   
  
spoken to her all day.  
  
"He is not transparent. He is a complicated person, his temper   
  
especially," said the diplomat. Misuko began asking more questions,   
  
but the diplomat refused to say anything else.  
  
The journey lasted for ten days. By the time they reached their   
  
destination, it was about evening. The capital of Shu was a grand   
  
one with magnificent building adorning wide streets. The diplomat's   
  
words still echoed in her mind. What kind of person is that prince?   
  
Misuko used to wonder many times over but she didn't give it a second   
  
thought as it gave her shivers.   
  
"Princess, we will go into the palace to meet my lord and the   
  
crown prince," said the diplomat, stopping. Then, he continued,   
  
"Meanwhile, we will stop by an inn to make ourselves presentable."   
  
Misuko nodded and her sedan stopped in front of a magnificently   
  
decorated inn. She got down from her transport and walked into the   
  
inn. The female servant accompanying her trailed closely behind.   
  
The servant disappeared for a while. She reemerged, carrying a bundle   
  
of clothes. Carefully, she handed the clothes to Misuko and politely   
  
ushered her to get changed.   
  
The servant followed her into her room, but was quickly ordered   
  
to retreat. Misuko wasn't accustomed to strangers helping her to   
  
dress.   
  
Misuko walked into her room and locked the door behind her.   
  
Slowly, she poured some water from the kettle into the basin and   
  
washed her face. She undressed and stuffed her old clothes back into   
  
her luggage. She took an observatory glance at the new outfit and got   
  
into it gingerly. She straightened her clothes and produced a comb   
  
from her sleeves. She combed her long hair neatly and did it up with   
  
some hair accessories.   
  
I look a lot nicer now, said Misuko to herself as she walked   
  
out of the room and ran down the stairs. The diplomat, also dressed   
  
nicely, was waiting for her. Both of them walked outside and got into   
  
their sedans respectively.  
  
The way to the palace was quite short, about 10 minutes. Misuko   
  
climbed out of her sedan, careful not to crinkle her impressive gown.   
  
Misuko and the diplomat walked up straight to the magnificent palace.   
  
Misuko's eyes shone with amazement and wonder as she was led through   
  
the vast hallways with carpeted floor.  
  
At last, she and the diplomat sat on a bench outside the main   
  
throne room, waiting for the King's summons. An elderly voice drifted   
  
through the room and out. Misuko and the diplomat stood up and walked   
  
into the room. Misuko looked with awe at the jewels and golden   
  
decorations on the wall. Lastly, she took a glance at the king. A man   
  
in his sixties was sitting beside a yellow clothed table. A young man   
  
in his twenties sat beside him. He was naturally quite handsome, in a   
  
dashing way.   
  
"Your majesty, this is Princess of Tai Ping, Misuko,"   
  
introduced the diplomat.  
  
The king nodded slightly. Misuko kept her face down to the   
  
ground. "Lift up your head," the young man commanded.   
  
Misuko looked up, straight into the young man's eyes. The   
  
diplomat quickly introduced the young man as the crown prince. They   
  
exchanged glances. The crown prince leaned over to his elderly   
  
father's left ear and whispered something. The elderly king smiled   
  
and nodded.  
  
The young man walked down along the aisle beside the throne and   
  
stood next to the diplomat. Over there, he whispered into the   
  
diplomat's ears. The diplomat smiled and nodded excitedly. Misuko   
  
just stood there silently, wondering what they were talking about.   
  
Suddenly, the diplomat took her by hand and walked out of the   
  
throne room. Seeing everybody was out of earshot, he told Misuko.  
  
"Congratulations, Princess. Our Crown Prince liked you at   
  
first sight. You will be one of his main concubines in the palace,"   
  
said the diplomat happily, glad that his mission had turned out   
  
perfectly, but Misuko was in another state of emotions.  
  
"Concubine... I'm a Princess and I'm supposed to be that   
  
fellow's concubine?" repeated Misuko angrily.  
  
The diplomat just shrugged and walked off with her again, this   
  
time showing her a room. A tastefully furnished room with satiny   
  
coverings on the tablecloth, curtains and bedclothes. Misuko looked   
  
sadly at the room. I'm going to be just a concubine in this place,   
  
thought Misuko plaintively.  
  
"Get changed and we'll bring dinner for you," said the diplomat   
  
before closing the wooden doors behind him. Misuko sat down on the   
  
bed, her mind only lingering on one problem. "Will my country be   
  
safe?"   
  
Misuko wiped her face with her handkerchief. Her mind changed   
  
subjects to the Crown Prince's behavior. Why did that diplomat tell   
  
her that...  
  
The sun began to sink towards the horizon. Misuko fidgeted with   
  
her handkerchief, taking a glance at the sky. It's getting dark,   
  
Misuko told herself. The food that her personal servant sent was   
  
cold, lying on the table. Misuko simply didn't have the appetite to   
  
eat.  
  
Misuko sighed and walked to the dresser. She began letting down   
  
her hair from the jewelry that elaborately adorned her hair. In fact,   
  
she enjoyed letting her hair down freely. She undressed and stripped   
  
down to her thin outer clothing. She looked at herself in the full   
  
length mirror, seeing her body shape was perfect. As she started to   
  
take off her last outer garments, a person suddenly opened the door   
  
and walked in. Misuko turned around in shock and held her clothes   
  
close to her chest.   
  
The person looked up at her. It was the Crown Prince.   
  
"What are you trying to do?" said Misuko calmly, quickly   
  
getting into her clothes.  
  
"I'm your husband, don't you know that?" said the prince,   
  
smiling wickedly at her.  
  
"Don't you dare come any nearer," threatened Misuko.  
  
"What would you do if I come any nearer?" asked the prince   
  
evilly, stepping forward towards Misuko.  
  
"No, don't..." said Misuko, trying in vain to escape.  
  
"You will be mine sooner or later," continued the prince.  
  
Misuko just looked at him. "You have a very nice body," said   
  
prince, inching closer towards Misuko every second. Suddenly, he   
  
lunged at her. Misuko landed on the ground next to the dresser as the   
  
prince got on top of her.   
  
"Help! Help!" Misuko yelled desperately as the prince hugged   
  
her tightly.  
  
"Sheesh... Nobody would hear you here. Besides I really wanted   
  
to see what the 'Lily of Wei' is really like, so we devised a plan to   
  
trick your father into giving you," said the prince, clamping a hand   
  
over her mouth to keep her silent.  
  
"Mmmmm!!!!" tried Misuko in vain as the prince began ripping   
  
off her clothes. He began taking off his own clothes too. Misuko   
  
stared in shock as he planted kisses on her neck and face. Blindly,   
  
she reached out to grope around for a weapon.  
  
Instinctively, she dragged open a drawer and felt about inside.   
  
The prince was already biting her neck and other sensitive places.   
  
Misuko winced as he bit into her earlobe when suddenly her hand   
  
closed around an object. She gripped it like a viper and raised it.  
  
"Go to hell!" she plunged down with her weapon on his exposed   
  
back. The body on top of her stiffened and rolled to the side slowly.   
  
The prince looked up at her as a trickle of blood flowed down from   
  
his mouth. Slowly, his eyes closed.  
  
I have killed somebody. Misuko thought in shock as she   
  
removed and dropped the blood-stained pair of scissors. The prince's   
  
body was lying there, lifeless.   
  
Guilt overwhelmed her.  
  
I'll never get out of this, thought Misuko, still dazed. A   
  
tear rolled down from her eyes. Slowly, she picked up the pair of   
  
blood-stained scissors up again.  
  
"I'm sorry, otousama. Sorry for not being able to bring peace   
  
you had always wanted..." whispered Misuko as she closed her eyes and   
  
stabbed the pair of scissors into her own stomach. Her last feeling   
  
was of a sudden pain and nothing else after that.  
  
And another soul went to the realms of judgment.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Copyright reserved 1998, 1999 W. Siew Lee   
  
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	3. The Past: Chapter 3

---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Past, The Present And The Future  
  
The Past - Memories  
  
Chapter 3 - Sweet, Sour, Then Bitter  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It was a bright day.   
  
Misuko found herself standing in mid air. She was staring at   
  
the bloody scene below her. She was there, lying on the ground. The   
  
evil Crowned Prince was also dead, by her feet. Wait a second, she   
  
was there, on the ground, a pair of scissors protruding from her   
  
belly.  
  
"Why am I here?" asked Misuko silently to herself. She closed   
  
her eyes momentarily, trying to recall what had actually happened.   
  
Recollections began to stream back into her mind. The prince...   
  
lunged at her... a pair of scissors... killed the prince... killed   
  
herself... The searing pain of the stab burned away the last few   
  
seconds of her life. The pain was frightfully real, even now.   
  
Misuko sat down in mid-air, wrapping her arms around her knees.   
  
So I'm dead now. What am I going to do? Misuko bit her lower lips   
  
while hot tears were starting to brim in her eyes.   
  
"Yes, you are," said a voice behind her. Misuko quickly blinked   
  
away her tears and turned her head to look at the owner of the voice.   
  
A girl with an oar was standing behind her. The girl was dressed in a   
  
traditional leaf green kimono with sparrows embroidered all over. Her   
  
black eyes and equally black hair had a serene-like effect.   
  
"What am I supposed to do now?" asked Misuko, getting up, tears   
  
already forming in her eyes again. Being dead wasn't exactly a nice   
  
thought nor dream, but it was true this time. Misuko had never   
  
thought of death before this. It was so... frightening to her.   
  
"I'm a ferry-girl assigned to you from Reikai, where you are   
  
suppose to go for registration before going to your last destination.   
  
Come, sit on my oar," said the ferry-girl gently.   
  
For the first time, Misuko was addressed and comforted by   
  
someone. Someone who treated her like a friend. Someone who was a   
  
friend. That feeling was very special, a warm and happy feeling.   
  
Someone who cared about her plight. A friend in need was a friend   
  
indeed.   
  
"I'm really dead," said Misuko softly, as she sat on the flat   
  
part of the oar. The ferry-girl got onto the oar too and started   
  
sailing through the air.   
  
Misuko closed her eyes, feeling the cool breeze caressing her   
  
face and whipping her hair all around. The wind somehow calmed down   
  
her boiling and unhappy feelings. Misuko herself was never perfect,   
  
although it may have seemed that way to some people. Misuko shoved   
  
that thought aside. She would never want to think about that anymore.   
  
It was simply too painful. An agonizing touch in her life. A black   
  
spot there.   
  
The ferry-girl put a comforting arm on her shoulder, assuring   
  
her that nothing bad would happen.   
  
What was done, was done.  
  
At last, the pair reached the mist shrouded building. An air of   
  
mystery surrounded it as Misuko lifted her head to look at majestic   
  
architecture.   
  
"That is the Reikai Imperial Palace. This is also where all the   
  
souls of Ningenkai are judged and assigned to their last   
  
destinations," explained the ferry-girl and took her hand.  
  
"What's your name?" asked Misuko cautiously. All her life, she   
  
had never been out of the palace. In a way, she had no idea how to   
  
make a friend.   
  
"Hanna," answered the ferry-girl simply as she led Misuko into   
  
the vast building. "Because your case is a special one, our Enma   
  
wants to meet you personally."  
  
"A special case?" repeated Misuko curiously. A lump formed in   
  
her throat... She had killed someone barely an hour ago and she was   
  
going to be judged right now!   
  
"Yes. Let's go," said Hanna and smiled a little. Such a lucky   
  
girl... Usually, cases like this rarely get a second glance, sighed   
  
Hanna softly.   
  
Misuko nodded and ran into the division office with Hanna. The   
  
extremely busy office was filled with running onis and other   
  
unrecognizable creatures. Hanna knocked on the door of a room located   
  
at one corner of the vast office. A voice answered, requesting them   
  
to go in. Misuko stared at the wooden door, half afraid of what lay   
  
beyond. Her first thought was of an evil-looking executioner waiting   
  
to punish her for the crime she committed. Misuko couldn't hide from   
  
herself anymore. She had to accept the truth.   
  
Hanna cautiously opened the door and walked in. A boy in his   
  
late teens, about 17 years old was sitting there, sucking his   
  
pacifier; furiously signing documents away. Another huge blue oni was   
  
standing beside him, passing him papers to sign.  
  
"Good morning, Koenma-sama," said Hanna, bowing slightly. She   
  
gave Misuko a small nudge, asking her to do the same.  
  
"Good morning," said Misuko as politely as she could.  
  
Koenma looked up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. "Good   
  
morning," he greeted back, fixing his gaze at Misuko. In fact, he   
  
stared at Misuko for quite a long time, without paying any attention   
  
to the puzzled glances his blue oni and Hanna were exchanging. Koenma   
  
looked at her for such a long time that Misuko began blushing and   
  
tugging at Hanna's sleeve.  
  
"Um... Koenma-sama, this is the girl you wanted to see," began   
  
Hanna cautiously seeing that Misuko was already tugging furiously.   
  
"Oh! Your name is..." Koenma flipped through a few papers and   
  
glanced at them. "... Misuko. You had committed suicide, right?"  
  
"Well, I guess that was the only way to get myself out of this   
  
mess," said Misuko dejectedly. Reminiscences began flooding back to   
  
her head. The stab was still painful, though. Not only was it painful   
  
physically, but mentally too.   
  
"Your place should be in heaven since you didn't do anything   
  
bad, but you committed suicide. Why? That is against the rules of   
  
living," said Koenma, looking at Misuko straight in the eye.  
  
"I had to. I had no choice. Think what would have happened   
  
sooner or later. The death of the prince... King Shu wouldn't have   
  
let me off that easy. I'd rather commit suicide than been executed in   
  
public," explained Misuko, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She   
  
had never felt so guilty in her life. Not only she had disappointed   
  
her country, she had ended her own life herself. In all things, she   
  
had failed miserably.   
  
"Just because of this point, the Reikai division office has   
  
decided to let you choose your own destination. You will have your   
  
fair chance of reincarnation, but which do you prefer? The first is   
  
to incarnate in three years time after a year of suffering in the   
  
first floor of punishment or you can work here as a ferry-girl for one   
  
hundred years," offered Koenma, giving her a choice.   
  
"We are lacking workers here, you know," continued Koenma.   
  
Misuko was dumbfound at the offers Koenma had made. To   
  
reincarnate or work as a ferry-girl here? Misuko considered. The   
  
world is in such a bleak state and I was just sitting in otousama's   
  
palace without doing anything. Fifteen years of my life were wasted   
  
just like that... I'm a girl. I can't do anything in the world of   
  
feudalism...   
  
But... she would have to wait for a long time to live again...   
  
Misuko considered and reconsidered. Making decisions was very   
  
difficult for her as her life in the palace was arranged beforehand.   
  
This type of life didn't even give her the chance to decide when she   
  
would have her bath.   
  
It would take all her determination to do this. Misuko took a   
  
deep breath and voiced out her choice.   
  
"I think I would be a ferry-girl here. I'm tired of seeing all   
  
these wars and fighting in the world. I suppose that would be better,   
  
since I could help and comfort souls in despair rather than seeing   
  
them suffer in silence," said Misuko, making her choice. She had   
  
truly made up her mind this time. One hundred years may seem a long   
  
time, but at least she could do something meaningful.   
  
"Fine, than that it will be," said Koenma, smiling at her.   
  
"Hanna, show her around and get her an official uniform of a   
  
ferry-girl."  
  
"Thank you," said Misuko as she smiled back. Koenma seems to   
  
be a very friendly person, thought Misuko as Hanna led her out.   
  
Misuko was thankful. Very thankful that she had been given a chance   
  
to start a new life.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Hanna, is being a ferry-girl very hard?" asked Misuko as Hanna   
  
showed her the ferry-girls' sleeping quarters.  
  
"Well, it depends on how you divide your time. Sometimes, you   
  
can suffer from an overload of work if you were to linger from job   
  
to job," answered Hanna as she opened a closet full of uniforms of   
  
many sizes and cloth patterns. "Choose a set you like."  
  
Misuko went through the clothes and looked at them, hoping to   
  
find something she would really like. Pairs after pairs of uniform,   
  
but she still couldn't find one that caught her attention.   
  
"Why do all these kimonos have some type of flower or bird   
  
embroidered on them?" asked Misuko curiously as she fingered one of   
  
the beautiful roses sewed on one of the kimonos.  
  
"Well, Reikai has a certain rule that the ferry-girls should   
  
have an identity of their own by putting on a certain type of   
  
insignia on their kimonos. Most of them were flowers or birds anyway.   
  
Mine are sparrows," said Hanna, crossing her arms over her chest. It   
  
was a long time already since Reikai had recruited any new   
  
ferry-girls.   
  
"I think I would like a crane as my insignia," said Misuko as   
  
she picked up a pair of dark blue kimono with a pair of white cranes   
  
embroidered at the front. She touched the head of one of the cranes   
  
lovingly. Since the crane is graceful and slender, it will look good   
  
on me... thought Misuko silently.   
  
"I think you might be able to start work tomorrow," said Hanna.   
  
"I'll leave you to settle down in your room." Hanna pointed towards a   
  
room at the far end of the corridor.  
  
"Thanks anyway," said Misuko as she clutched the kimono   
  
tightly. What lay in store for her in this place? One might never   
  
know.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Misuko got up early next morning. I'm now a ferry-girl in   
  
Reikai, said Misuko aloud as she hummed her favorite tune to the   
  
rhythmic splashes of water around her in the bathtub.  
  
Slowly, she washed herself thoroughly and got into the her new   
  
kimono. I look good and refreshed. Misuko admired herself in the   
  
full length mirror as she tied the peach colored sash around her trim   
  
waist.  
  
She combed her waist length hair and tied it up in a braid.   
  
Misuko took one last look at her outfit, making sure that the kimono   
  
was straight, and walked out of the room. As she expected, Hanna was   
  
waiting for her outside.  
  
"Come on, let's hurry or we will be late for work," said Hanna   
  
as she took Misuko by the arm and ran in the direction of the   
  
division office.  
  
"Wow, are we supposed to ferry all these spirits before noon?"   
  
asked Misuko as she was handed a sheet of paper about her assignment   
  
today. "There are about twenty names on that list," said Misuko in   
  
awe. This isn't going to be easy... groaned Misuko inwardly.   
  
"I guess so..." said Hanna, looking at her own list.  
  
"Where am I suppose to get my oar?" asked Misuko.  
  
"Just reach out an open palm and say 'oar'," instructed Hanna.  
  
Misuko did as Hanna instructed and an oar slowly materialized   
  
in her palm.   
  
"That oar is yours now and you can control it with your   
  
thoughts. Just think. When you want it to fly, just think of it   
  
flying the way you want. By the way, here's a map of routes to   
  
Reikai," Hanna handed Misuko a piece of paper. "One more thing, if   
  
you are ever lost, you can command the oar to get you back here."   
  
"Okay, thanks," said Misuko as she set off with her oar,   
  
looking at the first name on her list. For a while, she was at a loss   
  
for what to do.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"What a day!" said Misuko as she touched down to join Hanna in   
  
the Imperial Reikai Palace.  
  
"What took you so long?" asked Hanna, crumpling her list into a   
  
ball and throwing it into a wastepaper basket nearby.   
  
"I wasn't sure how to get to places and my oar was a little   
  
disobedient," answered Misuko, also throwing her list into the   
  
wastepaper basket. In fact, today was disastrous. Misuko was suppose   
  
to ferry an old man's spirit but the oar flew her to some remote land   
  
in Africa instead... A sweat drop formed on Misuko's temple as she   
  
thought of that.   
  
"Gods, I'm exhausted," said Hanna, stretching a little. "I   
  
think I'm going to bed early today."  
  
"I'm going to relax a little tonight," said Misuko, walking off   
  
in an another direction.  
  
"Goodnight," said Hanna, her hand stifling a yawn.  
  
"You too," said Misuko from a quite far distance away. I'm   
  
going to sit in the Imperial garden I have seen from my window - that   
  
garden is actually quite nice, decided Misuko. Her head was   
  
throbbing slightly as she had never really done hard work before.   
  
Misuko sighed softly. She had never expected herself to end up   
  
here...   
  
Misuko strolled down the path winding through the beautiful   
  
landscape. Flowers were blooming at their fullest and their sweet   
  
scent filled the air. At last, she reached a secluded place in the   
  
garden. She sat down on the soft green grass and drank in the sweet   
  
scent of flowers around her. Misuko closed her eyes and listened to   
  
the constant singing of a lone nightingale. Enjoying the soft sweet   
  
music. Misuko wasn't quite sure now. She was tired, tired of life.   
  
What had made her so pessimistic? She had negative traits in herself,   
  
but she had never looked at them carefully. Never bothered to...   
  
It felt so much like home. As Misuko thought of that, a   
  
hollow feeling began to take its place in her heart. Home sickness.   
  
Misuko missed her father and other people around her very much. Maybe   
  
a week ago, leaving home was totally alien to a princess who had   
  
lived all her life in a palace. Never going out of the forbidding   
  
walls around her.   
  
After a while, Misuko could feel someone sit down beside her.   
  
"Is that you, Hanna?" asked Misuko with her eyes still closed.   
  
"No. It's me." A squeaky voice answered. Misuko opened her eyes   
  
look at Koenma, this time without his pacifier.   
  
"I'm sorry... Koenma-sama," stammered Misuko as she got up   
  
hastily and dusted the bottom of her kimono.   
  
"Never mind, sit down again," answered Koenma, closing his   
  
eyes and he inhaled sharply.   
  
Misuko also sat down again, setting her mind into a peaceful   
  
state.  
  
"Why are you here? I thought I was the only one in Reikai who   
  
actually enjoyed sitting in the garden during evenings," began   
  
Koenma, his voice was in quite a low tone. Misuko looked at him in   
  
surprise as that wasn't his normal high pitched voice.   
  
"I love gardens, especially such a beautiful one like this. It   
  
reminds me of home," said Misuko dreamily.  
  
"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" asked Koenma,   
  
plucking a stalk of grass and beginning to twirl it around his index   
  
finger.   
  
"No," answered Misuko simply, on other hand, Misuko was also   
  
curious what Koenma wanted to ask. Could it be...  
  
"How is Ningenkai? I have never been to Ningenkai before,   
  
because I have just got this post from my otousama a few years ago,"   
  
asked Koenma, his eyes shining full of hope to see Ningenkai one day.   
  
"Ningenkai is fun, full of interesting things and beautiful   
  
scenes like a typical sunset. Unluckily, the country my otousama is   
  
ruling was jeopardized. I don't know whether the state of Shu will   
  
attack my country after I stabbed their Crown Prince," said Misuko   
  
with a plaintive sigh. Now, Misuko felt a tiny stab of regret. Maybe   
  
she shouldn't have killed their crowned prince. Maybe she should just   
  
stay being a concubine there.   
  
"Why did you stab him?" asked Koenma, opening his eyes to look   
  
at Misuko meaningfully.   
  
"The state of Shu tricked my father into giving me as a 'so-  
  
called' prize of harmony, but it was a conspiracy in order to get me.   
  
I was so angry when I heard that from the Crowned Prince's mouth. He   
  
even tried to rape me... I somehow got hold of a pair of scissors and   
  
accidentally killed him. I didn't mean to end my life like that, but   
  
I had no choice," said Misuko, two teardrops rolling down from her   
  
eyes. Memories were so painful for her. Misuko shoved that thought   
  
away as it was ripping her sanity apart.   
  
"It's not so much your fault. Humans make mistakes," consoled   
  
Koenma, patting her on the shoulder. Koenma felt true sympathy for   
  
this girl, who came to Reikai yesterday. Koenma himself had seen such   
  
cases before, but this had left him with a strong impression.   
  
"Koenma-sama, do you think that I really did the wrong thing?"   
  
asked Misuko. She was still confused now. She was guilty, guilty of   
  
not bringing harmony to her people.   
  
"No. You did the right thing to protect yourself," said Koenma.  
  
"But what will my otousama think? I'm his only child," Misuko   
  
said as she broke down into sobs.  
  
"Don't worry, I think he would understand," said Koenma.  
  
"I'm really unkind to my father. I brought disgrace to my   
  
people. I heralded war cries..." cried out Misuko, burying her face   
  
into Koenma's shoulder and sobbing her heart out.   
  
Koenma cautiously put a hand to comfort her, hoping that she   
  
would eventually calm down. Slowly, a few stars shone down at them.   
  
At last, Misuko's sobs died down.  
  
"I'm sorry to break down like that," apologized Misuko as she   
  
wiped her tears away with her kimono sleeve.  
  
"I hope that you have finally calmed a little," said Koenma,   
  
smiling gently at her.  
  
Misuko got up. "Thanks for listening to me." In her heart,   
  
Koenma was already a friend. Someone she could lean on when she   
  
needed a mere person to listen to her.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
[Koenma was leaning over her, whispering the magical three   
  
words into her ears. Misuko smiled up at him, Koenma bent down and   
  
kissed her lightly on the cheek...]  
  
Oh no... This is the third time I've dreamt about him in a   
  
night... thought Misuko in shock as she sat up on her bed, sweating   
  
profusely. She shook her head, trying to clear the image before her   
  
just seconds ago.  
  
She took a glance outside the window. The sun was already   
  
halfway up the horizon. She got up quickly and dressed.   
  
"Hanna must be wondering what had happened to me." thought   
  
Misuko as she brushed her hair hurriedly. She took her oar and ran   
  
outside. Hanna was there pacing impatiently to and fro.   
  
"What were you doing inside?" asked Hanna, wondering why Misuko   
  
was late.  
  
"Oh... I just had a dream," said Misuko quickly. She didn't   
  
want Hanna or anyone else to know that she had a crush on their boss.   
  
Besides, what would Hanna think if she knew about her crush?   
  
"What dream? A nightmare?" asked Hanna. "You looked pretty   
  
pale!"   
  
"Um... no," said Misuko. "Let's get going."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Koenma groaned for the 50th time as George brought in another   
  
stack of papers. Work at Reikai was so demanding and tedious...   
  
Koenma had never chosen to work in Reikai; but he had no choice. He   
  
was the only heir to Reikai, so he had to do so; whether he liked it   
  
or not.   
  
"Koenma-sama, these documents have to be signed by 1.00pm   
  
today," announced George, also obviously a little burned out from the   
  
heavy workload.   
  
Koenma nodded absent-mindedly as George set the pile down in   
  
front of him. Koenma-sama seems to be quite distracted these past   
  
few days. I wonder why... George pushed the thought away and went   
  
out of the door. Koenma-sama never tells his problems to anybody,   
  
not even to me.   
  
On the other hand, Koenma was having trouble concentrating on   
  
the office papers spread out before him. His mind was wandering   
  
elsewhere, unable to make a comeback. He shrugged a little and forced   
  
some work.   
  
I love being in this form... thought Koenma on another of his   
  
occasional stray periods of daydreaming. That is my actual form, but   
  
otousama wants me to go back to that smaller form. Speaking of   
  
pacifiers and Reiki...   
  
She has a very special self within her... said Koenma aloud   
  
this time, but he quickly clamped his hand over his mouth. He didn't   
  
want to think of that anymore, work was more important to him now.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Misuko sat in the garden again, for two consecutive weeks. The   
  
night air seemed to calm her, but her mind was still confused. She   
  
had even gone avoiding Koenma whenever she saw him. The dreams were   
  
painful, especially when she woke up. It isn't reality, said Misuko   
  
sadly to herself every time it happened; but she simply couldn't   
  
control herself.   
  
She breathed in sharply and leaned back on the tree. She closed   
  
her eyes and began fantasizing about a night together with Koenma.   
  
"Why are you here?" a voice asked suddenly.  
  
Misuko's eyes flew open and looked straight into a pair of   
  
brown eyes. "Hi, Koenma-sama." Misuko's face was already blushing   
  
furiously when she said that.  
  
"You are always here," said Koenma, sitting down beside her.   
  
"How come I didn't see you the last few days?"   
  
"Yeah. I have something to tell you," said Misuko suddenly. Her   
  
mind had sub-consciously made a decision. Misuko never imagined that   
  
she would say such a thing, but she did.   
  
"Me too," said Koenma eagerly, getting up on his knees to be by   
  
her side.   
  
"Why don't you say it first," offered Misuko, also eager to   
  
hear what Koenma had to say. Besides admitting first isn't normal   
  
for a girl like me, Misuko added to her herself.  
  
"Well, um... this is a problem between us. Are you ready to   
  
hear it?" asked Koenma.  
  
"Yes," answered Misuko as she took a deep breath.  
  
"I have been dreaming about you these few days. At first, I   
  
couldn't make any sense out of it since I was always er... kissing   
  
you," said Koenma, pausing a while; half expecting Misuko to get up   
  
and slap him. Instead, Misuko just looked at him with no obvious   
  
facial expression.  
  
"Finally, I came to a conclusion." Koenma breathed in before   
  
blurting out the rest of the sentence. "I have fallen in love with   
  
you secretly."  
  
Misuko kept quiet, looking into Koenma's eyes. "It really hurts   
  
to dream of you every night, but just to wake up and find that isn't   
  
real," continued Koenma, watching closely for Misuko's facial   
  
expression.  
  
Misuko suddenly got up and hugged Koenma. Tears of joy already   
  
streamed down from her eyes. She tried opening her mouth to say   
  
something, but she only just managed to whisper the words: "Thank   
  
you. Thank you for saying this to me."  
  
Misuko let go of Koenma. "I had been thinking to tell you this   
  
too, but since you said it out, I might as well tell you my own   
  
personal experience," said Misuko, her pent-up emotions gushing out.  
  
Misuko finished saying what she wanted to say. Koenma looked at   
  
her, his face filled with new found delight. Koenma got up suddenly   
  
and pinned her down on the grass.   
  
"Since we are having fantasies of each other so frequently, why   
  
don't we try this once for real?" suggested Koenma playfully.   
  
"Hold on. What if some other people find out?" asked Misuko   
  
worriedly. She was already mentally forming a scene where Hanna   
  
accidentally walked in on them. Just try imagining her reaction.   
  
"Don't worry," said Koenma as he kissed her gently on the neck.  
  
"Great," said Misuko as she slowly kissed back...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Misuko!" yelled Hanna outside Misuko's assigned room. Five   
  
minutes passed but still no sound.   
  
Has something happened to her? thought Hanna anxiously and   
  
began knocking on the wooden door with her fist.  
  
Still nothing.   
  
After a little while, she heard sounds of footsteps walking up   
  
the corridor. It was Misuko. Her face and hands were smudged and bits   
  
of grass were sticking to her hair and kimono. Her hair was   
  
disheveled and her kimono was rather crumpled.  
  
"What happened to you?" asked Hanna as she took Misuko's hand   
  
and took a close look at her.  
  
"Nothing. I just fell asleep in the Imperial garden." answered   
  
Misuko happily.  
  
Hanna rolled her eyes. "Get cleaned up and dress neatly. We are   
  
already late for work!"  
  
Misuko smiled and walked into her room. "Ah... I'm taking a day   
  
off today. You don't need to wait for me."  
  
"Okay," said Hanna, walking off with her oar.  
  
My, my. She sure is acting strange today... thought Hanna and   
  
shrugged.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Koenma-sama, how good it would be if we can live together like   
  
this forever," whispered Misuko on the second night.  
  
"Yeah, but we could only do this in the garden." joked Koenma,   
  
putting an arm to caress her.  
  
"How would your otousama react if he knew about this?" asked   
  
Misuko, feeling his neck with her little finger.  
  
"I really don't know," answered Koenma. That very thought   
  
frightened him... Enma Daiou had a very notoriously hot temper.   
  
"Don't care about that now. Let's continue."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
On the third night...  
  
"I have something for you." said Koenma as he reached inside   
  
his robe to produce something.  
  
"What's that?" asked Misuko as she saw Koenma was grasping   
  
something in his palm.  
  
Koenma showed Misuko a pendant handing from a gold chain. "This   
  
pendant is made from the best bloodstone I could find."  
  
Misuko looked at it closely. The pendant was cut into an oval   
  
shape. The texture of the stone itself was smooth, cut to perfection.   
  
The color of the stone was a very deep brownish color. A line of   
  
blood red was sprinkled across the main surface. Its tranquillity was   
  
pleasing to look at and the glossy surface reflected the full moon   
  
very well.  
  
"Thank you. It's beautiful." said Misuko happily, leaning   
  
against Koenma.  
  
"Misuko, this is for you. This pendant shall represent my   
  
eternal love for you. The speckles of red will forever remind you of   
  
me," said Koenma as he handed out the pendant. "Do you want me to put   
  
it on for you?" asked Koenma.  
  
"Yes." Misuko smiled as Koenma slipped the chain around her   
  
neck. The pleasantly cool stone excited her.  
  
"Koenma-sama, I shall wear it everyday of my life and never   
  
leave you," answered Misuko gratefully. She had never expected Koenma   
  
would do something that nice for her.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Why is Koenma so careless over his work nowadays? He has   
  
wrongly judged spirits and sent them to wrong places..." grumbled   
  
Enma-Daiou to himself as he went through the monthly reports from the   
  
Reikai information database.  
  
"What could possibly make him that distracted from his work?   
  
That day I saw him, he was even a little pale, like he was suffering   
  
from lack of sleep," wondered Enma-Daiou.  
  
"Lack of sleep... what is he doing? I'll find out," said Enma-  
  
Daiou loudly, making his decision.  
  
"Will, can you please call George over?" said Enma as he   
  
flipped on the intercom.  
  
The voice acknowledged and minutes later, a blue oni stumbled   
  
into the office room.   
  
"Yes, Enma-Daiou. May I be of service?" said George politely.  
  
"Do you know why Koenma is acting so strange these few days?"   
  
asked Enma-Daiou.  
  
"He seems very distracted and kept looking at the time. He   
  
seems impatient waiting for night time," answered George truthfully.  
  
"Night time," repeated Enma-Daiou slowly.  
  
"Yes, night time," said George.  
  
"Thank you, George. You may go now," said Enma-Daiou.  
  
George gave a little bow and walked out of the room. Enma-Daiou   
  
stopped writing to ponder on this for a moment. Then, he summoned a   
  
detective he had just appointed a few days ago into his office.  
  
"I want you to spy on my son. I suspect he has something behind   
  
him," said Enma-Daiou to a figure clad in a trench coat. The   
  
mysterious figure gave a sound of acknowledgment and went out.  
  
"That will teach that fellow not to slacken in his work,"   
  
smirked Enma-Daiou, continuing his paperwork.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Koenma-sama! Lord Enma wants to see you now!" yelled George as   
  
he slammed the door with his fist.  
  
"Yeah! I'm coming!" said Koenma opening the door. "Do you know   
  
why otousama wants to see me?" he asked George. George shrugged and   
  
Koenma ran off towards the direction of the throne room.  
  
"Otousama, is there anything?" asked Koenma innocently as he   
  
walked into the throne room.  
  
"Ask yourself," said Enma-Daiou coldly as he threw an envelope   
  
at Koenma. Koenma caught it deftly and tore open the cover. His eyes   
  
widened in shock as he looked at the pile of photos.  
  
"Explain these photos," said Enma-Daiou. Koenma rubbed his eyes   
  
and looked at the photos again. Sure enough, there were photos of him   
  
and Misuko during their late night meetings. One photo showed him   
  
and Misuko engaged in a really passionate kiss. Beads of cold sweat   
  
began to form on his palms and forehead.  
  
"Who is that girl?" asked Enma angrily.  
  
"Enma-Daiou, she is Misuko, a ferry girl," answered Koenma   
  
weakly.  
  
"Tell me now! What have you done wrong?" roared Enma-Daiou.  
  
"I... I fell in love with her. Please, otousama, I really love   
  
her with all my heart and soul. We are bonded physically and   
  
mentally. I can't live without her. Let us be together..." pleaded   
  
Koenma.  
  
"You know the rules of Reikai," answered Enma. "You must never   
  
ignore them. You are Prince of Reikai and you are my successor,"   
  
continued Enma.  
  
"I know..." said Koenma.  
  
"Since you know, why did you break the rules?" demanded Enma.  
  
"Please... otousama. Please change the rules for once," pleaded   
  
Koenma again. He knew the consequences of this act, but he had never   
  
brought it to light... To the light of reality.   
  
"No. You are suspended from work today onwards and your   
  
sweetheart will be thrown into prison until further orders," said   
  
Enma. Two guards turned up and took Koenma by his arms and dragged   
  
him away.  
  
"No! Please!" shouted Koenma. Enma-Daiou just looked away,   
  
refusing a grant.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Enma-Daiou had locked up Koenma in a room and had Misuko thrown   
  
into prison for having secret affairs. Koenma was depressed.   
  
Everyday, he tried to think out a way to get out of this room and   
  
see Misuko. Finally, he found a hairpin (goodness knows where he   
  
found it) and he pried open the lock with it.  
  
"Come on... You can do it!" mumbled Koenma to himself as he dug   
  
around the keyhole. Suddenly, the locked responded with a soft click.   
  
"Eureka!" shouted Koenma but quickly clamped his hand over his mouth.  
  
Koenma peeped out from his room. "Good, coast's clear." He   
  
tiptoed out silently and looked around. Blast! I forgot which   
  
direction dungeons are in! cursed Koenma mentally.  
  
Koenma was at a loss for a way to get to the dungeon. At last,   
  
he found a maid walking nearby and he forced her to tell him where   
  
the prison was located. Quickly, he rushed to the prisons and began   
  
looking for Misuko. Cell by cell, he went through all of them but he   
  
still couldn't find where Misuko was.   
  
"Where is she?" thought Koenma frantically. At last, he reached   
  
the last cell and he looked into it, and saw a weak Misuko lying   
  
there.  
  
Koenma hugged her and heard her groan. When he reached down to   
  
carry her out of the cell, he felt a warm and sticky liquid on her   
  
clothes. He looked down and saw it was blood. He looked at Misuko   
  
wide-eyed and he was devastated when he saw a dagger sticking out of   
  
her belly. His eyes widened in shock and he quickly placed the girl   
  
down on the cold stone floor.   
  
"Koenma-sama. Thank you for all the love and care you have   
  
given me all the time. I couldn't repay it all. Here, I want to give   
  
you back the bloodstone that you gave me on that memorable day," said   
  
a dying Misuko in his arms.  
  
"No!!! You are not going to die!!! I will find the best doctor   
  
in Reikai to heal you!" screamed Koenma, Misuko's hand already   
  
pressing the chain into his palm.  
  
"No, Koenma-sama, I'm going to die soon, so let me finish my   
  
last words. You know that our love could never be together again. Why   
  
don't I end my life as to end your love? And to end our suffering?   
  
When I die, forget about me and continue your life normally..." As   
  
Misuko said that, blood spluttered out of her mouth and her eyelids   
  
closed.  
  
"Why! Why must this happen to me? I'm the one who dragged you   
  
into this mess..." Then, Koenma's voice lowered to a soft tone. "I'll   
  
never leave you. You will be the only girl that I will ever love and   
  
I'll wait for you forever..." After saying these, Koenma broke into   
  
heart wrenching sobs. The bloodstone chain slipped from his hands and   
  
fell onto the stone floor with a clink.   
  
A sound of an everlasting flame dying...   
  
The next day, Enma-Daiou had asked for Koenma again and there,   
  
they had their negotiations again.  
  
"Koenma, my son, I express condolence on the death of Misuko;   
  
now, I feel that maybe I have been too harsh on both of you. Let me   
  
give both of you a chance..."  
  
"What chances or possibilities are there? Misuko is already   
  
dead, no one could change that!" said Koenma bitterly.  
  
"No, you're wrong, my son. Misuko still has a chance to   
  
incarnate. If you could find her ever again, I'll give you my   
  
approval."  
  
"Otousama, Misuko's chances of reincarnation are very slim,   
  
people that died once mustn't die again, or they will simply cease to   
  
exist. Even though she could have escaped that fate, but chances are   
  
very slim. I doubt I'll ever find her again..."  
  
"A chance is still a chance, but you must promise me one thing,   
  
that is to keep this incident a secret for the sake of me, you,   
  
Misuko and Reikai."  
  
"Alright, anything..." As Koenma said that, he burst into tears   
  
and ran out of the throne room. Tears didn't come easily for him, but   
  
tears of grief streamed down uncontrollably... Devastated and broken,   
  
Koenma hid in a dark and secluded world of his own.   
  
Ever since that incident, Koenma had buried himself in work and   
  
refused to give himself anytime to relax. He had even begun turning   
  
back into his toddler form to avoid any more girls being attracted by   
  
him. Deep down inside his heart, Misuko would be an eternal flame   
  
burning inside him.   
  
He would never be the same again. Never ever.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The pain inside him was still fresh; even now. Koenma had never   
  
told these things to anybody else, not even to Botan. Until now, he   
  
had nothing that belonged to Misuko except the pendant and her prized   
  
kimono. The dreams of Misuko still haunted him. Misuko would belong   
  
in a secret part of him. In his darkest and most hidden corner in   
  
him. He had never thought of her for a long time. Was he too scared   
  
to face the truth and reality set before him? It was sweet, then   
  
sour. At last, it turned bitter.   
  
When he heard that familiar voice, he was dumbfound. Koenma   
  
turned around towards that voice's direction. There, he saw a teenage   
  
girl with big beautiful brown eyes and perfect complexion. She was   
  
dressed in a typical schoolgirl uniform. She was there, chatting and   
  
laughing away with her friends.  
  
A raw recognition overcame him. Sentimental feelings   
  
overwhelmed him in waves at once. Koenma stood there as if he was   
  
struck by lightning. A hoarse word escaped his throat and he cried   
  
out:   
  
"Misuko..."   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Copyright reserved 1998, 1999 W. Siew Lee   
  
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	4. The Past: Chapter 4

---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Past, The Present And The Future  
  
The Past - Memories  
  
Chapter 4 - Love Lost, Love Found  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Yusuke, Botan and Hiei were running and chasing after time.   
  
Poor Koenma... he would have to wait for a long time before they   
  
would arrive there.   
  
"Yusuke! Why can't you run faster?" asked Hiei who was   
  
obviously going slow at a pace of 30kmph. This time, his feet were   
  
actually touching the ground instead of that flitting he always   
  
did.   
  
"Hiei, not everybody is as fast as you are and anyway, I'm   
  
pretty out of shape myself," answered Yusuke breathlessly as he ran   
  
along the sidewalk, avoiding pedestrians agilely.   
  
Just as they were busy talking, they went round a corner and   
  
bumped into someone, or more precisely, two persons. Poor Yusuke was   
  
knocked down first and he lay at the bottom of the pile of bodies.   
  
Before he went down, he caught a glimpse of the two reckless people.   
  
They were Kurama and Kuwabara.   
  
"Hey! Get off me!" yelled Yusuke quickly, already squashed   
  
below.  
  
A scramble for space soon followed and on top of that, shouting   
  
voices were heard all over the whole place. One by one the entangled   
  
limbs straightened themselves out and the cursing began.   
  
"Hey! Are you guys blind?" yelled Yusuke, massaging his sore   
  
waist.  
  
"We didn't see you!" answered Kurama and rubbed his arm.  
  
"Heh! Must be that baka who has stones for eyes," interrupted   
  
Hiei coldly, smirking at Kuwabara.   
  
Kurabara's face went slightly red and puffy, but he calmed   
  
down. The bickering continued, with Kurama and Yusuke arguing about   
  
who was wrong and who was not.   
  
Very soon, quite a crowd of people had gathered around that   
  
group; while Kuwabara just stood there watching. Hiei, who wasn't   
  
used to standing in front of so many people, had practically flitted   
  
up a roof and crouched there silently, watching his teammates bicker.   
  
Suddenly, Yusuke's voice came right out, yelling. "Alright! We   
  
will settle this later and let's get moving over to Keiko's ramen   
  
shop!"   
  
About a dozen pairs of eyes blinked and focused on Yusuke.   
  
Slowly, the crowd began to disperse and the small group continued   
  
running. Both Kurama and Kuwabara knew how notorious Yusuke's temper   
  
could be if he was really upset.   
  
It was an unusually calm day with no traffic jams or loud   
  
commotion. Even the sky was blue as cornflowers. Little did they know   
  
what they were going to discover. A discovery of a lifetime.  
  
When they reached Keiko's ramen shop, they looked around for   
  
Koenma. They half expected Koenma to be sitting in some corner,   
  
sucking his stupid pacifier. Maybe eating a bowl of ramen or drinking   
  
some type of fruit juice, after all it was summertime now.   
  
Koenma wasn't there! The Urameshi team searched around   
  
frantically because Koenma was never late or absent for meetings. In   
  
fact, it was always Koenma waiting for them.   
  
"Oh no... don't tell me Enma-Daiou has grounded him again..."   
  
wailed Botan loudly, lapsing into another of her complaining modes.   
  
Suddenly, Yusuke spotted Koenma standing near the counter.   
  
"Guys! He's there!" yelled Yusuke to the rest and pointed his   
  
index finger at the still figure.   
  
The gang hurried towards him. When they reached there, Koenma   
  
was standing motionless and they saw a trickle of blood running down   
  
from Koenma's nose. What the hell could make Koenma react like that?   
  
Blood? Why blood?   
  
"Oh no! Don't tell me that Koenma was poisoned!" Botan at once   
  
checked Koenma for any ailments with her healing powers. She grabbed   
  
his wrist and felt around for a pulse. She found nothing wrong,   
  
except Koenma's heart was beating exceptionally fast. On the other   
  
hand, Koenma was frozen to the ground. Nobody else was there, except   
  
the girl standing right in front of him. He was totally immersed and   
  
wrapped up in his own thoughts, his own memories.   
  
All of them gazed to the direction where Koenma was staring at.   
  
Just at the entrance of the shop, they saw a beautiful girl. She was   
  
in fact, breath taking. Her long eyebrows were perfectly shaped and   
  
her complexion was spotless. Her oriental look made her very pretty,   
  
at least in a way. Her shapely figure was framed with the ordinary   
  
school uniform, but her curves still visible.  
  
The whole group stared at Koenma, dazed, and then burst into   
  
laughter.   
  
"Ha! Koenma, I could blackmail you into giving me a holiday   
  
now!" laughed an oxygen-deprived Yusuke. Even Hiei's mouth seemed to   
  
curve upwards. Kuwabara walked towards the poor fellow and slapped a   
  
hand on his back, New liking, huh?   
  
Botan tried to contain her laughter. She kept her face   
  
straight, but her complexion was slowly turning into a slight shade   
  
of purple. Botan squeezed her eyes shut, trying very hard to shove   
  
the thought that her boss was in love with someone.   
  
Koenma was still looking at that girl without a sound and he   
  
reached into his robe and pulled out a bloodstone pendant, hanging on   
  
a gold chain. A single tear rolled down from his mysterious brown   
  
eyes and landed on the ground below.  
  
The whole group stopped laughing as they saw how heart   
  
wrenching Koenma's expression was. Yusuke took one step forward and   
  
put an arm around Koenma's shoulders. Yusuke was quiet for a moment   
  
before he gently asked Koenma what the problem was. Just at that   
  
moment, the girl bade goodbye to her friends and walked out of the   
  
shop. Koenma pushed his friend away and raced after her.   
  
"Misuko! Misuko! Wait for me!!!!" yelled Koenma with a group of   
  
his friends trailing behind. That girl turned around to answer but   
  
stopped when she saw Koenma.   
  
She was shocked, an obvious confused expression lit upon her   
  
face. She began to say something, but bit it back. At last, she   
  
opened her mouth and asked: "Who are you and why do you know my   
  
name?"   
  
"Misuko, don't you remember me? I'm Koenma and this is the   
  
pendant I once gave it to you," As Koenma said that, he showed the   
  
pendant for Misuko to see. Misuko looked at him in disbelief. Koenma   
  
stepped forward to hug her. Koenma was acting too rashly, but he   
  
couldn't control himself. He had missed her for such a long time...   
  
When Koenma hugged her, he could still feel her familiar curves   
  
and skin under her clothing. Misuko was shocked to her very core as   
  
she really didn't know who the heck this guy was. Misuko opened her   
  
mouth and screamed:  
  
"Get your dirty hands off me, you hentai!" Koenma was shocked   
  
and he let go of Misuko. Koenma could feel several pairs of eyes   
  
boring into him behind He could almost feel the whispers of some   
  
people. Misuko struggled out and raised her hand. One swing and she   
  
gave Koenma a stinging slap. Misuko stormed off angrily, disgusted at   
  
Koenma.  
  
Koenma was still dazed but he was still reluctant to let Misuko   
  
out of his sight. He fingered the sore spot the she had slapped him   
  
and silently, he followed her from about 100m's distance. Why? Why   
  
did she slap me that suddenly? Koenma's mind was in a mess now. He   
  
couldn't think rationally right now... That shock was simply too   
  
much. Koenma always complimented himself on keeping his cool during   
  
difficult situations, but it had pushed him over the edge this   
  
time...  
  
Misuko turned her head around and saw Koenma trailing her. Just   
  
then, a bus stopped by and Misuko got into it quickly. Koenma stood   
  
on the pavement, staring at the bus.  
  
Yusuke and friends watched silently behind Koenma. Yusuke   
  
whispered to Botan asking if she knew anything about Koenma's strange   
  
behavior.  
  
"If I knew anything, surely I wouldn't be standing here," Botan   
  
whispered back. Botan had lost some of her usual cheerfulness, it was   
  
simply too melancholy to laugh at this moment. Koenma was...   
  
heartbroken. Botan walked towards Koenma and she put a comforting arm   
  
around him.   
  
"Let's go over to Genkai's temple and see how she can help   
  
you," said Botan. Koenma nodded weakly and collapsed. Just before   
  
darkness closed over him, Koenma could see the faces of his friends   
  
staring at him. Koenma slowly let go of his consciousness...   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When Misuko got off the bus, her heart was beating wildly and   
  
thoughts inside her head were swirling all around. Why did that guy   
  
seem so vaguely familiar to me? That pendant... that bloodstone   
  
pendant, it felt like I had once worn it around my neck. The cool   
  
sensation... The way that guy had hugged me was also very strange,   
  
like a sense of deja-vu washing over me.  
  
"I must be going crazy over this. Most probably because of the   
  
school test, I have too much mental pressure on me lately." Misuko   
  
shook her head a few times and began walking home. Misuko kept   
  
closing her eyes for some peace of mind from the uncontrollable   
  
thoughts raging inside her head.  
  
Misuko had managed to walk back to her house after a bout of   
  
dizziness.   
  
"Mi-chan, are you all right? You look pretty pale to me..."   
  
asked Misuko's mother, obviously worried about her condition.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay, okaasan. It was a hectic day and I think I   
  
need some sleep." As Misuko said that, she walked up the stairs and   
  
into her bedroom. She tossed her school bag on her sofa set and   
  
stepped in for a shower. Warm water flowed down her. Misuko put her   
  
face up for the water to gush over it. Flashes of yellow, blue and   
  
red light began to visualize in her confused mind. She finished off   
  
her shower and got dressed up in her favorite T-shirt and shorts. She   
  
flopped down on her bed and began drifting off to sleep. Began   
  
dreaming about red roses.  
  
It was midnight. Misuko still couldn't sleep after that dream.   
  
A strange dream where Koenma had presented her a stalk of red rose.   
  
She lay tossing and turning in her bed, she was still thinking about   
  
that strange guy. Even his clothes seemed bizarre to her, like some   
  
type of Chinese-kung fu outfit; but it was his expression and the way   
  
he looked at her... like the way one would look at his lover. That   
  
look wasn't simply given to anybody. Misuko couldn't think about   
  
anything but him. Just by that expression, Misuko was sure that he   
  
wasn't any hentai who wanted to take advantage of girls.  
  
Maybe it was just an honest mistake. That guy could have   
  
mistaken me for someone else. A thousand possibilities raced through   
  
her mind and she promised to herself that the next time she saw him,   
  
she would ask him the actual story.   
  
Strange enough, she was very sure that she would meet him again   
  
one day. One day...   
  
Soon, Misuko herself fell asleep with the image of Koenma in   
  
her mind.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
[Back at Genkai's temple...]  
  
Yusuke, Kuwabara, Genkai, Yukina, Botan and Kurama were seated   
  
around a circle discussing what had happened today. Koenma was still   
  
lying on a futon nearby, in a state of near coma. Hiei was nowhere to   
  
be seen.  
  
"I'm really worried about Koenma. I have always seen him in his   
  
funny or comical moods, but I have never see him in this way before.   
  
It seems that he is totally out of control this time," said Kurama in   
  
his usual graceful demeanor, his eyebrows knitted together in a half-  
  
frown.   
  
"Hahahahaha.... Maybe Koenma was some type of crazed maniac   
  
that we didn't know about?" laughed Kuwabara, just exactly at the   
  
wrong time and everyone was staring at him, speechless.   
  
Bang! everybody looked at Kuwabara with Botan's fist embedded   
  
in his head.   
  
"Koenma-sama isn't that type of person," yelled Botan. "I'm   
  
also a girl so why hasn't he touched me before?"  
  
"Just because you're too ugly to look at," answered Kuwabara   
  
cheekily and stuck out his tongue.   
  
Crash! Botan had grabbed her oar and slammed it down   
  
Kuwabara's head again, this time with all her force. Two swollen   
  
bumps on Kuwabara's head began to visualize.   
  
"Stop acting immature, both of you. Botan, you know that   
  
Kuwabara was just joking," interrupted Genkai. Botan heard that and   
  
threw Kuwabara a dirty look.  
  
"It seems that the girl... what's her name again?... Oh yeah!   
  
Misuko; had some past relations with Koenma. I never knew that Koenma   
  
once had girlfriend," said Yusuke suddenly, saying out what   
  
everybody was thinking at the moment.  
  
"Well, it seems that none of us know what had the girl has   
  
done to Koenma or more probably what has Koenma done to her under   
  
very strong influences. It never occurred to me that Koenma actually   
  
had some girl he likes," interrupted Kuwabara sensibly this time.   
  
Genkai raised a hand to stop the chat. Everybody stopped   
  
talking at once to look at her. Genkai then said, "I felt a very   
  
strong presence of a strange power somewhere in Tokyo now. It felt   
  
like... I don't know, it felt very strange. It's a powerful force   
  
throbbing away in the midst of the busy city. I think it has   
  
something in connection with the mission that Koenma has given you."  
  
"Genkai-shihan, now Koenma-sama is still unconscious and we   
  
can't go on our mission without him. We haven't got all the details   
  
yet. I think we will have to wait until Koenma-sama wakes up,"   
  
suggested Botan. Suddenly, Botan's eyes grew wide. That thought had   
  
triggered something buried in her mind.   
  
"Wait! I think I know why Koenma-sama always looked as if I had   
  
stabbed him every time I teased him for having so many girls falling   
  
for him in Ningenkai. During his breaktime, he will occasionally look   
  
around for anybody and take out a bloodstone pendant and began   
  
staring at it," said Botan suddenly, her eyes showing excitement to   
  
her mini-discovery.   
  
"Hah! How would you know if Koenma looked around for anyone and   
  
didn't see you? He must be blind then," retorted Yusuke and rolled   
  
his eyes.   
  
"Of course I was hiding in a corner..." Botan's face flushed a   
  
deep shade of red as she said that and everyone rolled their eyes.   
  
The chat continued without a hitch. At least with occasional   
  
arguing.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The scene was foggy. Or maybe it looked more like a dream?   
  
Koenma found himself face to face with Misuko. Misuko, he had been   
  
dreaming and longing for her ever since that fateful day, but the   
  
dreams began to fade more and more. Getting blurrier and blurrier   
  
each time since he had last seen her.   
  
This time was very clear, no obstacles or hazy scene obscuring   
  
his view. Koenma felt himself kissing Misuko. A sudden headache took   
  
over him and before his eyes, Misuko was slowly fading away. Just   
  
before she left, she smiled.  
  
Koenma could feel himself waking up and he let out a groan. His   
  
entire body ached from fatigue. Koenma looked up and saw the whole   
  
group of friends surrounding him.   
  
"Koenma, can you tell us what had actually happened? Tell us   
  
and we could help you to solve your problem," asked Yusuke gently.  
  
Koenma could feel himself nodding in response.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
As Koenma finished his story, he burst into tears and buried   
  
his face into his hands. Botan also wept and apologized to Koenma for   
  
ever teasing him about girls. Koenma looked so broken that nothing   
  
could seem to mend him.  
  
"We'll help you to find Misuko again," assured Kuwabara.  
  
"One question, Koenma-sama," said Genkai, looking straight into   
  
Koenma's eyes.  
  
"Yeah?" said Koenma, at last regaining his composure.  
  
"You are in charge of the spirits in Reikai, so I think you   
  
might have overlooked this important rule," said Genkai.  
  
"What important rule?" asked Yusuke, interrupting from the   
  
side.  
  
"The rule is that once the person is reincarnated, memories of   
  
the past life must be cleansed away. I am sure there's someone   
  
special to do that," said Genkai, explaining the part she thought   
  
that Koenma might have missed.  
  
"Oh... I forgot... Genkai, you are right. I overlooked it,"   
  
said Koenma sheepishly. Everybody else in the room face-faulted.   
  
Clink! Clink! The metallic sound of Yukina's tears dropping   
  
to the floor caught everybody's attention.   
  
"Why, Yukina? Why are you crying?" asked Kuwabara, holding   
  
Yukina's small hand.  
  
"Koenma-sama also suffered the same fate as I have. Until now,   
  
I still can't find my brother. Where is my brother?" Yukina said   
  
sadly. Yukina also looked the same as Koenma. That heart broken   
  
expression...  
  
Clink! Clink! More tears that had formed into pearls dropped   
  
on the floor. Kuwabara consoled her and promised her that he would   
  
help her find her brother.  
  
The rest just looked at them, speechless.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The meeting was long over. Yusuke and his friends had gone for   
  
their rest. Even Genkai went to her room to meditate.  
  
Botan was feeling very uneasy. She hadn't mistaken that look on   
  
Yukina and Koenma-sama's faces when they thought of their loved ones.   
  
Botan herself never had any relatives so Koenma-sama and her friends   
  
were the closest she ever had to a relative. Tonight, she learnt that   
  
losing someone you loved was painful, perhaps even more painful than   
  
Death itself.   
  
She heaved a sigh and pulled open the sliding door. She slipped   
  
into her slippers and went out to have a stroll in Genkai's garden.   
  
Today, there seemed to be a lot of things on her mind, making her   
  
anxious and jittery. She unconsciously shivered a little and wrapped   
  
her arms around her slender body frame.   
  
Genkai's garden in the temple was very beautiful. Most probably   
  
almost the same as Reikai's imperial garden. Genkai really had green   
  
thumbs, for managing such a beautiful garden with so many varieties   
  
of flowers. Botan walked around and stopped beneath a tree. Under the   
  
tree, there was a garden bench. Botan stooped and dusted it. Then she   
  
sat on it and breathed in the cool relaxing midnight air. The   
  
fragrant flowers were blooming full tonight but Botan's heart simply   
  
wasn't there to enjoy it. She twirled the back of her ponytail   
  
absent-mindedly and shook her head.   
  
Botan was thinking about what had happened today. The more she   
  
thought about Koenma-sama and Yukina, the more she was worried about   
  
them. Yukina was there crying tears everyday, meanwhile Koenma-sama   
  
was on the verge of going insane. Both of them had lost their loved   
  
ones.   
  
Consequences, consequences, they were very dangerous.   
  
"How could Hiei be so cold-hearted to let his own sister suffer   
  
in silence? Yukina's only consolation was Kuwabara, her now formal   
  
boyfriend." A wry smile touched her face as she thought of that.   
  
"Thank god that Kuwabara doesn't know about this or he would   
  
practically rip Hiei into pieces. First, he will start with Hiei's   
  
limbs, and then proceed to his head..." Botan stopped that thought   
  
immediately as the gory scene filled her head. Hiei and Kuwabara were   
  
always bickering non-stop and Kuwabara's reaction upon knowing his   
  
darling Yukina-san's relation with Hiei wouldn't be nice.   
  
"Maybe he has reasons?" Botan thought of that but she quickly   
  
pushed it off. Reasons weren't the excuse to see someone suffer in   
  
silence. She gritted her teeth angrily. Who was he to decide how   
  
would Yukina lead her life in the future? Yukina wanted her brother   
  
and someone to love her, to care for her.   
  
"I can't do anything for Koenma-sama's case but I could do   
  
something for Yukina's problem." As Botan thought of that, she stood   
  
up and dusted her kimono. She raised her hand and an oar materialized   
  
out of the thin air. She threw it into the air and watched it   
  
float. She didn't want to use that whistle again because it would   
  
cause unnecessary attention. She stood there in the night, wondering   
  
what to do next.   
  
You know that Hiei will not listen to you, girl. You know his   
  
character! He will not listen to anyone if he has made up his mind.   
  
He might even char you to a piece of charcoal, a soft voice   
  
whispered in her head but she shoved that thought away quickly. She   
  
had to try somehow or watch her friend bearing such pain in her   
  
heart, even though she might end up as a small black piece of carbon   
  
lying on the stone pavement by midnight.   
  
"Well, I would have to search the treetops one by one."   
  
Treetops... On an impulse, Botan looked up into the tree that she was   
  
standing below and she found what she wanted --- Hiei.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It had been a strange day, today. After being shocked from   
  
sleep by the damned whistle, he was dragged by Urameshi and Botan to   
  
see that baby, Koenma. What else? Koenma had fainted over some girl.   
  
What a joke! Hiei snorted once and shook his head.   
  
Stupid Ningens. Why were they so sentimental? Hiei could never   
  
comprehend the way Ningens act towards each other. He always hated   
  
the way Ningens cry and wail over such trivial problems. He sighed in   
  
frustration and began polishing his katana with the edge of his   
  
cloak.   
  
Hiei was totally confused by the whole situation. Koenma had   
  
asked them to see him, but instead he had gone down himself. It was a   
  
waste of time. When that stupid blue head suggested they should go   
  
over to Genkai's temple, he was very frustrated about wasting his   
  
precious time like this. He just leaped and went to Genkai's temple   
  
by himself. It was better than following them, those snails. At least   
  
he could reach Genkai's temple within 1 minute while they took two   
  
hours.  
  
"That Botan! She is always annoying me with her baka ideas. She   
  
nearly burst my eardrums using that whistle. And that was the second   
  
time..." thought Hiei angrily and clenched his fists, forming a   
  
mental image of that ferry-girl being eaten up by his black dragon.   
  
Hiei smiled sadistically as he imagined Botan's irritating high-  
  
pitched voice screaming for help. Her voice... Her voice... Maybe I   
  
have grown used to it... All of a sudden, he felt a fluster in his   
  
heart and his face felt hot, even he was a fire youkai. His grid   
  
around the ebony handle of his sword tightened, he couldn't believe   
  
that he was actually feeling emotions like this.   
  
"She was actually quite beautiful, wasn't she?" A little voice   
  
spoke at the back of his head. "Stop it!" Hiei commanded himself and   
  
squeezed his eyes shut, trying in vain to disperse that image of the   
  
giggling face. But then again, he wasn't even sure of his feelings.   
  
"You like her, don't you..." That voice told him again. The   
  
voice nagged at him again and again. Poor Hiei simply couldn't get   
  
the head or tail of it. Then, the sound of footsteps drifted over. It   
  
caught his attention and Hiei lifted his head to see who it was. A   
  
figure dressed in a kimono and sandals walked up.   
  
It was Botan, that stupid ferry-girl from Reikai.   
  
Hiei debated whether to leave or stay. The footsteps were   
  
drawing nearer. Hiei couldn't escape now, so he just crouched there,   
  
on the top of the tree. You also want to peep on her, don't you?   
  
whispered that voice again but Hiei counter-reacted by throwing it a   
  
mental growl.   
  
She stopped coincidentally, below his tree. She was there,   
  
talking to herself. Hiei didn't like eavesdropping on other people,   
  
but it was simply too tempting, so Hiei listened intently. He was   
  
simply surprised that he heard his own name there.   
  
Why in three worlds would she think about him? Hiei gave a   
  
mental shrug and prepared to flit off in the darkness, but he was too   
  
tempted to see where would Botan go after this. Slowly, he crouched   
  
down again behind the branches, narrowing his crimson eyes at the   
  
slender figure.   
  
At last, Botan got up and dusted herself. She looked around and   
  
then glanced straight up the tree. Hiei knew that he had been seen,   
  
so in a whirl of black wind, he stood before Botan.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Hiei..." she began. Hiei just looked at her and sat down cross   
  
legged on the stone bench. He looked just right at home with his   
  
usual serious expression. Botan also followed suit and she walked   
  
over to sit on the stone bench.  
  
"Hiei... I think you would have to be ready to sit here for a   
  
few minutes because I have something to tell you," ventured Botan.   
  
Hiei sighed and nodded in agreement.   
  
"Well, I think you saw Koenma-sama's reaction today. Do you   
  
know that Yukina-chan also feels the same way?" said Botan   
  
cautiously, but Hiei just kept quiet, with no obvious reaction.  
  
"Please, Hiei. I'm sure you won't want to see your sister in   
  
torture, right? Although I know that you may have your problems, but   
  
you still would have to give Yukina-chan some type of explanation,"   
  
said Botan, this time more boldly, her pink eyes looking straight   
  
into Hiei's ruby-red ones.   
  
"Look, woman. My personal affairs don't need you poking around.   
  
I know what to do and not to do so just shut up!" shot back Hiei, his   
  
eyes lighting up with frustration. He had his own reasons and he   
  
didn't need someone else like Botan to nose into his life!   
  
"But... Hiei, think again. Yukina-chan is really in a very   
  
pathetic state, especially this evening. Every second of her life,   
  
she is yearning for her lost brother," tried Botan again.  
  
Hiei looked away, turning a deaf ear towards Botan's pleas.  
  
"Hiei, if you don't admit your real identity towards her at   
  
once, you are a gutless person!" yelled Botan, her eyes sparkling   
  
with fury.  
  
"Shut up!" growled Hiei menacingly. He looked quite angry and   
  
black flame began to erupt from his fist.  
  
"Do what you want to me. I don't care more or less, I just feel   
  
sorry for Yukina-chan to have a jerk for a brother..." As she said   
  
that, she closed her eyes, waiting for the searing pain of Hiei's   
  
demonic fire burning her body away.  
  
Botan braced herself internally. That baka... I won't give in   
  
so easily. Seconds ticked by, it never came. Five minutes passed,   
  
Botan cautiously opened one eye and then another. She looked down at   
  
herself and found that she was still intact. She looked up at Hiei.   
  
There were no more flames or any energy radiating from Hiei anyway;   
  
besides, he looked calm.   
  
Too calm to be true.   
  
"Hiei..." she said more gently this time. "Do you want me to   
  
talk to Yukina-chan about this?"  
  
"No! I'll talk to her personally," answered Hiei. Then, his   
  
voice lowered to a softer tone. "Thank you, for making me realize   
  
things that I have not been able to face myself in the past." He   
  
finished that sentence; a gust of wind blew on her face and he was   
  
gone. Botan lifted her head to look at the star-lit sky and kept her   
  
fingers crossed.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Hiei stood there as Botan tried to talk sense into him. He was   
  
still confused about his feelings on Yukina and ...Botan. Yukina was   
  
his sister, the only relative in this world he had. It hurt him to   
  
see Yukina in pain. He knew that Yukina was crying her tears of grief   
  
everyday, but he couldn't do anything about it. Who would want a   
  
robber, a thief and a criminal under probation of Reikai for a   
  
brother? When Botan said about Yukina and him having a heart of   
  
steel; he had to face the reality set before him.  
  
He sighed unhappily. Why must he hide from the truth of not   
  
telling his real identity? That nightmare still terrified him every   
  
single second he saw Yukina with his own eyes. It was so real, that   
  
dream, that he could even hear Yukina screaming in agony. Hiei closed   
  
his eyes, trying to disperse that bloody scene in his head. It didn't   
  
disappear, instead, it began to intensify...   
  
Evil youkais chasing Yukina... He, himself suffering for   
  
serious wounds... Yukina was caught and brought before him... He was   
  
lying on the ground, his eyes only had Yukina's image... One of the   
  
youkais pulled out his katana from his limp body... Pierced it   
  
through Yukina's body as a cruel form of torture for him... Yukina's   
  
scream echoed around him as he watched Yukina's form slumped down...   
  
His eyes snapped open and his fingers encircled his katana   
  
protectively. It happened again. And again. And again.   
  
It was too horrifying, even for him.   
  
His heart ached every time when Yukina addressed him 'Hiei-san'   
  
instead of the traditional 'niisan'. Very often, he had wished that   
  
Yukina would call him 'niichan', or at least a simple word -   
  
'brother'. He yearned for her attention and he couldn't help feeling   
  
pangs of jealousy when Kuwabara clung to his Yukina-san   
  
affectionately.   
  
It's only a dream, Hiei.   
  
You are just having a hallucination, Hiei.   
  
You have wild imagination, Hiei.  
  
Reasons, reasons.   
  
He should tell her sooner or later. Besides, he was just having   
  
a nightmare, right? Again and again, he assured himself that   
  
everything would be all right. Everything would be all right.   
  
Slowly, that image of Yukina's death slowly disappear from   
  
his focus, but he saw someone standing with her eyes closed in front   
  
of him. Botan.   
  
Botan was always so irritating. She should have died for saying   
  
such things to the famed "Forbidden Child". Just as he was going to   
  
teach her a lesson, his conscience overwhelmed him. Although Botan   
  
was being a busybody, but after all, she was just trying to do   
  
something good, right? She deserved to die, but Hiei just couldn't   
  
bring himself to kill her. Besides, he didn't want to get into   
  
trouble with all that hanky-panky stuff at Reikai.   
  
At last, Hiei let go of his fury and replaced it with calmness,   
  
besides Yukina needed an explanation. After saying that unHiei-ish   
  
speech, he suddenly felt embarrassed and he flew off. He needed   
  
someplace to think of a way to tell Yukina.   
  
Why did he felt embarrassed in the first place? There was   
  
simply no explanation.   
  
Hiei flew to a deserted place in the magnificent garden and sat   
  
down. Slowly, he began to think. Thinking was a slow process to him,   
  
for he had never took any chance to quietly ponder. Maybe he had the   
  
perception that thinking about useless thing was a total waste of   
  
time.   
  
It was time to recollect pieces of his life. He had been born   
  
into a community of koorime. When he was born, he was thrown into a   
  
river and left to survive on his own. He had to fend for himself.   
  
Hiei reached up to feel his Jagan underneath his head-band. His Jagan   
  
was specially implanted to search for his sister.   
  
Now, he knew where his sister was. After some consideration, he   
  
decided to tell Yukina the truth; after all, Yukina might be happy to   
  
know he was her brother. What if she wasn't able to accept him? Hiei   
  
really couldn't imagine if he were to be turned down like that. Most   
  
probably tears wouldn't be available too.   
  
Too much grief, too little tears.   
  
But one question mark still bugged him: Why did Botan want to   
  
risk her life just to advise him on that? Botan really has good   
  
intentions or maybe... she liked him.  
  
"Nah! Not everybody had twisted thinking as you do." Hiei   
  
chided himself, but he was still curious to know whether Botan really   
  
saw him as a jerk. Just a tiny bit of curiosity, right? In reality,   
  
he was so confused about his feelings. He sat down and placed his   
  
katana with a soft thud on the stone pavement.   
  
Life was almost too difficult for him to bear. Almost.   
  
He wanted someone to care for him, someone to love him. At   
  
least someone to lend a listening ear to his problems. In the past,   
  
he felt that everyone was wearing a mask facing him, lying to him.   
  
After all, he just wanted someone for support, nothing else.   
  
Would Botan be the answer?   
  
In the distance, he saw a room still lit with an oil-lamp and   
  
he assumed that it was Botan's room.  
  
In a second, Hiei reached that room. Sure enough, he heard   
  
Botan singing to herself. Hiei put an ear close to the wall to listen   
  
to Botan.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Botan heaved a sigh of relief. That encounter was close enough.   
  
With a slight exertion of Hiei's youki, he might as well had charred   
  
her to the moon. She considered herself lucky enough to survive. She   
  
was very tired today. After being woken up to by George to send   
  
Yusuke a message early this morning, then after that, Koenma's   
  
incident and now, Hiei. She felt as if she had just ferried 100   
  
spirits in a day. Even her head was throbbing with a painful ache.   
  
Botan folded her arms and began to walk back to her room, in   
  
Genkai's temple. In fact, the surroundings were very serene and   
  
beautiful. When she walked in the interior of her room, she took off   
  
her sandals and began undressing. With a flick of her wrist, she   
  
simply threw her clothes aside, leaving only her flimsy slip on. As a   
  
habit, she would sing her favorite BSB tune. She sat on her futon and   
  
began talking to herself aimlessly as she massaged her laps and   
  
knees.  
  
"Do I really love Hiei?" she asked herself. "He's cute, he's   
  
rude, he's exiting, he's..." she chanted a string of praises for   
  
Hiei. "Although he is quite stubborn, but with the power of love, I'm   
  
sure that he will be moved one day." As she said that, she walked   
  
over to the lamp and extinguished the flame. The whole room plunged   
  
into darkness. Botan smiled to herself in the darkness. Hiei   
  
definitely was the model guy she was looking for.   
  
Nah, forget about getting Hiei to like you. The both of you   
  
have too much differences. Besides, when is the last time you have a   
  
decent conversation with that vulgar fire youkai? Consider yourself   
  
having a daydream, whispered a voice and nudged her mentally. Botan   
  
sighed again and shook her head slowly.   
  
Too often, she had wild fantasies about herself with quite a   
  
number of guys she found attractive. Yusuke... Kurama... And now?   
  
Hiei, that fire youkai.   
  
Just as Botan was tucking herself in bed, a gush of cold night   
  
wind rushed into the room. Botan looked at the open window and saw a   
  
figure standing on the windowsill. "Who is it?" half-screamed Botan   
  
and pulled the blanket around her more protectively as she shivered   
  
uneasily.   
  
Hiei ignored her and jumped. The next second, he was standing   
  
beside Botan. He threw off his cloak easily and crouched next to   
  
Botan, placing his katana on the wooden floor boards with a dull   
  
thud. Slowly, he reached out a hand and took Botan by her right   
  
shoulder, holding her up to face him.   
  
"Hiei! What are you doing?" screeched Botan but Hiei quickly   
  
clamped an empty hand over her mouth. She struggled, but Hiei looked   
  
at her intently, instantly silencing her.   
  
"Botan, is what you just said true?" As Botan heard that, her   
  
face flushed a deep shade of red. Botan didn't expect someone to be   
  
eavesdropping outside when she said that. For once, she was so   
  
thankful that there wasn't a moon in the sky or her red cheeks would   
  
be very obvious to him. Slowly, Hiei withdrew his hand and Botan   
  
panted a little, still blushing fierily.   
  
At last, she gathered all her courage and spoke to him. "Hiei,   
  
please be honest with me. Did you ever like me before?"  
  
Hiei thought for a moment; then, he replied: "Well, sometimes   
  
you're irritating but I... I have found you attractive." On an   
  
impulse, Hiei put an arm around Botan and felt her soft delicate skin   
  
as he fingered it.  
  
Botan shuddered at that touch. She had never been touched by a   
  
male, especially her bare skin. Hiei's voice lowered into an even   
  
softer tone so that it almost sounded like a whisper. "From now   
  
onwards, I'll like you forever..."   
  
Hiei climbed into the place on the futon next to her. Botan   
  
could feel his warm body and he hugged her. Hiei bent down and gave   
  
Botan a rough kiss on her lips and she could feel herself eventually   
  
returning it.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A male voice in the utter darkness suddenly sounded. "Botan,   
  
can you keep our relationship a secret?"  
  
"Why?" a female voice answered.  
  
"Because I don't want that bastard Kuwabara and the rest   
  
laughing their heads off."  
  
"Well, I don't think that they will be that mean..."   
  
"Botan, promise me. You know that jerk Kuwabara always finds   
  
fault with me."   
  
"Alright, as you wish." A long silence followed.  
  
The male voice broke the silence again. "Botan, have you even   
  
wondered why I didn't want to tell Yukina the truth?"  
  
"Actually, I still couldn't get the head or tail of it, Hiei."   
  
"I'm the Forbidden Child and nearly everybody in Makai wants my   
  
life. If they knew Yukina is my sister, they would kidnap her in   
  
exchange for me. This is why I want our things to be kept secret too.   
  
But now, I am now finally reaching S-class and I think I'll tell   
  
Yukina the truth."  
  
The male voice asked again, "Do you regret being together with   
  
me tonight?"  
  
"No, I won't regret it and Hiei, I'm proud of you for being   
  
able to tell Yukina the truth."  
  
Again, only shallow breathing echoed in the room before another   
  
question shattered the serene quietness. "Hiei, do you love me?"   
  
No answer, only a low growl.   
  
Gradually, silence set in again.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Copyright reserved 1998, 1999 W. Siew Lee   
  
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------- 


End file.
